When it Comes to Men: Patterns Don't Lie
RelationshipHeadquarters.com
It is amazing how many women know the definition of insanity (doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result) and yet they continue to date or marry the same type of man and expect a different result. Most therapists who have been practicing for a few years are familiar with this pattern. Usually those individuals who practice relationship insanity only enter therapy because they are in intense pain and they are desperate. Often a woman will enter my office for relief from their heartache rather than insight into her problems. Most of these women (men too) want their circumstances to be different, but they often don't want to change their behavior.
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posted by The Relationship Doctor at
1:44 PM
2 Comments:
Awesome Post Bob! This is so so very true! I don't have much relationship experience, cuz I have had only 2 so far, I am such a reserved peron that I am not open to any person but when I am interested I tend to revolve my whole being around that particular person - anyways - I am now at a point where again I am at the crucial make or break point in the relation where the guy that I am interested in is turning cool-cold, and getting interested elsewhere. I beleive before I repeat the same pattern of just accepting whatever I can have in a realtionship in the sense of togetherness, Its better for me to create some distance - I do have a life beyond all this aswell no ? Let me know ur thoughts and any suggestions too would be appreciated. As it is I don't think I can force a relationship with anyone no matter what - cuz there will always b a nagging thought that, it was all my interest he just played along all the while and the moment they find some adrenaline rush somewhere else they are likely to leave me no? some insecurities and how they creep in on us when we least expect to have em .. :-)
Congrats on your insights and you're willness to take responsibility for your own happiness.
I will say this in response to your comments about having a sense of togetherness with a man. When a woman focuses on -connecting- with a man, it actually doesn't work that well. What works better is when a woman is focused on herself and a man is pressing in to find out about her.
I wrote about this in The Woman Men Adore and I know it isn't easy, but it does work.
But, if you really want specifics, there is one topic that every man will gladly talk about for hours on end and that is HIMSELF.
Talk about him and his interests, thoughts, dreams and you won't be able to shut him up.
Bob
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