The Bachelor Dumps Both Women?
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I admit it - I watched a portion of the final episode of the bachelor. I bet many of you did too.
For those of you that missed the final episode - let me recap….
As those of you who have seen the show know, by the end of the series the choice is narrowed down to only two women. The bachelor has to select one of them. In this instance, the bachelor (Jason) dumped Molly at the final rose ceremony in favor of Melissa. A few weeks later, again on national television, Jason changes his mind and dumps Melissa in favor of Molly.
My wife called me into the room where she was watching the “After the Rose Ceremony” portion of the show, and she kept uttering these words, “I can’t believe that guy. How could he do that to those women?” (She said a lot of other things about Jason, but I would rather not repeat them).
Of course I had to enlighten her as to exactly how Jason could do that to those women.…
Jason appears to be one of those men that is in touch with his feelings (possibly too in touch with them).
Was Jason being dishonest with Molly when he initially cut her loose, and then with Melissa a few months later when he changed his mind, and decided he preferred Molly? I don’t think so. I suspect that Jason confuses intensity with intimacy. He assumes, like many men (and women as well), that the stronger he feels about someone, the more compatible he believes they are. As you can tell from watching, this only works when the relationship is going well. However, once things start to “normalize,” which eventually, occurs in every relationship (i.e., you get more comfortable with each other, start to recognize a few minor flaws, etc), this is a recipe for disaster.
What is the solution?
Surprisingly, it isn’t that Jason can’t ever find and/or keep love. It is that he is the worst person to try and find love in the format of “The Bachelor.” He needs to date someone for several months, (preferably longer). The woman needs to get accustomed to his moodiness. When he’s motivated and inspired, he is magical, but when he has doubts, he can be extremely unpredictable with his feelings. Only women with very high self esteem need consider dating Jason. At least based on what I witnessed last night.
One Final Observation…
Do you know who I was most impressed with? It was Melissa.
When she was riding away in the Limo she said to the camera, “I know that there is something about me…” I was so impressed by her willingness to consider that she might be contributing to her pattern of relationship breakups, as she indicated that this “always happened to her.” I thought that took a lot of courage and I don’t believe she is that far from discovering why she is “always the one being dumped.”
All she needs is someone who can show her how to change her pattern.
I admit it - I watched a portion of the final episode of the bachelor. I bet many of you did too.
For those of you that missed the final episode - let me recap….
As those of you who have seen the show know, by the end of the series the choice is narrowed down to only two women. The bachelor has to select one of them. In this instance, the bachelor (Jason) dumped Molly at the final rose ceremony in favor of Melissa. A few weeks later, again on national television, Jason changes his mind and dumps Melissa in favor of Molly.
My wife called me into the room where she was watching the “After the Rose Ceremony” portion of the show, and she kept uttering these words, “I can’t believe that guy. How could he do that to those women?” (She said a lot of other things about Jason, but I would rather not repeat them).
Of course I had to enlighten her as to exactly how Jason could do that to those women.…
Jason appears to be one of those men that is in touch with his feelings (possibly too in touch with them).
Was Jason being dishonest with Molly when he initially cut her loose, and then with Melissa a few months later when he changed his mind, and decided he preferred Molly? I don’t think so. I suspect that Jason confuses intensity with intimacy. He assumes, like many men (and women as well), that the stronger he feels about someone, the more compatible he believes they are. As you can tell from watching, this only works when the relationship is going well. However, once things start to “normalize,” which eventually, occurs in every relationship (i.e., you get more comfortable with each other, start to recognize a few minor flaws, etc), this is a recipe for disaster.
What is the solution?
Surprisingly, it isn’t that Jason can’t ever find and/or keep love. It is that he is the worst person to try and find love in the format of “The Bachelor.” He needs to date someone for several months, (preferably longer). The woman needs to get accustomed to his moodiness. When he’s motivated and inspired, he is magical, but when he has doubts, he can be extremely unpredictable with his feelings. Only women with very high self esteem need consider dating Jason. At least based on what I witnessed last night.
One Final Observation…
Do you know who I was most impressed with? It was Melissa.
When she was riding away in the Limo she said to the camera, “I know that there is something about me…” I was so impressed by her willingness to consider that she might be contributing to her pattern of relationship breakups, as she indicated that this “always happened to her.” I thought that took a lot of courage and I don’t believe she is that far from discovering why she is “always the one being dumped.”
All she needs is someone who can show her how to change her pattern.
Labels: Jason dumps 2 women, Jason dumps Melissa, Jason the bachelor, the bachelor
posted by The Relationship Doctor at
5:53 PM
2 Comments:
as much as i agree with your assessment of Jason cos i had thot the same for a long time and actually thot Deanna did the right thing by not choosing him, i do not think that any woman is right for him now until he makes critical adjustments to his character, cos a woman with a high self esteem i think will not tolerate too much of his moodiness.
2ndly, i don't think his self esteem will let him date any such a woman, Jillian case in point. Jason desperately needs the woman to rely solely on him, even though i don't think he is ever nearly up to the challenge.
This is a great take on the Bachelor - and I think you hit it when you talked about the self-esteem of the women - and I think that's where Molly holds the trump card, and where he talks about "being challenged" by her. It seems that Melissa runs "deeper" and yet she also seems as though she's used to sitting on her emotions. With an "emotional" guy like Jason - being a woman who is in "control" of her emotions, who's "understanding" and "a good woman" is the kiss of death. What keeps him on his toes is a woman with iron-solid boundaries - a no nonsense woman who puts herself first - that looks like Molly from here, but we'll see.
I think this whole thing is a huge teachable moment for us all, and I thank you for the post (would you like to contribute an article or this post - or a further exploration of this situation for LoveRomanceRelationship.com? If so, let me know and we'll get it happening). Thanks, Sarah
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