First Date Magic for Women

At least once a month, one of my clients will come into my office upset about how her date went the previous weekend. Either she feels she did something wrong or worries that the guy didn’t seem to be too interested in her.

For the next 45 minutes, we dissect the evening in question and I offer suggestions on how to salvage a second date; or I congratulate her on discovering that he isn’t worth another chance.

Many times, however, the problem lies with Continue reading First Date Magic for Women

3 Reasons He Hasn’t Asked You Out Again

You’ve just had the “perfect” date… then wondered why he never asked you out again? You seemed to have such a great connection. You had fun. He seemed to have a good time as well. Yet he never called you again. What went wrong? This scenario is unfortunately common, one many women have experienced. Here are three common reasons why he hasn’t asked you out again… Continue reading 3 Reasons He Hasn’t Asked You Out Again

Love Isn’t Something That Just Happens to You — It’s a Conscious Choice!

Why doesn’t love last?

If you’re like most people, you’ve probably asked yourself the above question — not just once, but several times.

With about 50% of marriages ending in divorce, and pre-marital relationships failing at an even higher rate, I’m certain you’ve seen your share of failed relationships among your friends and family members — and even in your own life.

It’s enough to make you believe that Continue reading Love Isn’t Something That Just Happens to You — It’s a Conscious Choice!

3 First Date No-No’s

Contrary to popular belief, the priority on a first date should be more about not making a mistake rather than making a good impression.

Face it, the very fact that a guy asks you for a date means that you have already made a good impression.

Because of this, you don’t have to impress him; rather, your main focus should be to NOT do these 3 things:

#1 Don’t make suggestions; let him be in charge

Hopefully, you will never be in the position of a guy asking you for a date, and then showing up at your door and asking you the question every woman dreads, “So, what would you like to do?”

To be fair, the reason some guys do this is because they are worried about planning something that you don’t like. Rather than making a mistake in selecting the activity, they instead choose to avoid the risk of rejection.

Most, thankfully, know they need to plan the evening. If, however, you are asked about your preference, maintain your role as receptive female by saying, “I’m not sure, what did you have in mind?”

This will set the tone that HE is the man, and that it is his job to plan an evening to please you.

Don’t worry about coming across as a snob, witch or worse. If he is so insecure that he needs you to plan the evening, good riddance. Better you discover this about him now than later.

#2 Don’t pay for the meal

Regardless of what part of the world you live in, nearly every man believes that a clear sign that a woman is not interested is her insistence in paying for her own meal.

Now, many women have confided to me that they have offered (rather than insisted) to pay for their meal because they didn’t want to give the impression that they were selfish or just out for a free meal.

While their intention is noble, men don’t view it that way. Any first date is about a woman acting like a woman, not an equal. Leave the concept of fair at your work or school.

He didn’t ask you out because he wanted to spend the least amount of money possible.

On a first date, a man is more concerned that he can please you than he is about spending an extra $20-$50, I promise.

#3 Above all, don’t have sex with him

One of the fastest ways to ruin a potentially great relationship is to introduce intimacy too soon. Men are very driven to prove their power to themselves.

They usually measure this by what (or whom) they have conquered.

Frequently, when a man conquers something, he moves on to something else. Once the chase has ended, he becomes bored.

A wise woman knows that the more a man invests in something, the more he values it. Sex is a prize he receives in return for his devotion and commitment. The more casual a woman makes sex, the more casual a man takes commitment.

Playing Games In Dating

It’s Not Manipulation – Sometimes Playing Games is Good

Many women ask me how they can get what they want without “playing games.” The idea of not directly telling a man exactly what they want (ie. “I want a relationship”), when they want to tell him, appears to be somehow disingenuous to some women. To these women, and many others, they fear that anything other than total transparency is akin to being dishonest.

The truth is that creating chemistry early in a relationship often requires that a woman maintain at least some sense of mystery that is cultivated by keeping a relationship moving along S-L-O-W-L-Y. Early on in a relationship, a woman’s primary focus should be on not allowing a man to see her too much.

Unfortunately, many women get nervous when a relationship doesn’t develop at the pace that they would like or are accustomed to. In response to uneasiness, they want to “get everything out in the open” so that they can find out if this relationship is worth investing their heart into it or whether it’s simply a waste of time. They’ve been hurt before, and rather than blindly trusting a man, they have determined that they are never going to be so naive again.

Time Reveals A Man

What is ironic is that the very thing they want, namely discovering how sincere a man really is, is best discovered by observing a man over time. No matter how good of an investigator you think you are, talking about a relationship mainly encourages a man to say whatever he feels you want to hear. Please let me emphasize this again. Words are for women. The way to determine what is in a man’s heart is to look at his actions. What he does is always more important; and to determine what he does, you are NOT looking for isolated incidents, but rather patterns.

Does he have a temper?
Does he make a date with you and then not keep it?
Does he say he loves you and then curse you when he is angry?

No matter how good a detective you think you are, there is NO WAY to find out the answer to these or other important questions by simply “no playing games.” There is no substitute for spending time with a man. Time spent with him will either disprove or validate your fears about him. Once you see a pattern that is unacceptable to you, then decide whether you want to continue your relationship with him. Sometimes you must “play the game” to find out about a man’s true character.

Dating Advice for Single Parents

Dating Advice for Single Parents

If you’re a single parent trying to date, it can be tough. Thinking about dating and having the time to date sometimes seem as far apart as East is from West. Questions run through your mind…

Am I being selfish? Do I have the time? Who is going to watch the kids? It’s been so long…do I even know how to date?

It can seem Continue reading Dating Advice for Single Parents