Most if not all marriages go through strained periods – understanding that this is perfectly normal and can be addressed will give you a more positive, ‘can do’ attitude for improving your marriage.
Today we bring you some very common marriage mistakes often made by women. Check these out and see whether you could give your marriage a boost by taking our valuable marriage advice.
Being unclear about expectations
This is often something that we associate with newlyweds but in actual fact it remains relevant throughout marriage. As a marriage matures both partners’ needs and wants change but how often do couples reconsider exactly what it is they want from each other and discuss this?
Marriages naturally go through all sorts of changes:
• one of you may increase or reduce your working hours.
• your growing kids may have changing needs.
• you may need to start incorporating caring responsibilities for older family members into your schedule.
• perhaps your financial situation has changed
• you may have a family issue that needs time and effort to resolve (eg. education, health or behavioral issue)
Whatever has changed in your life try not to forget that any change in your own or any member of your family’s circumstances can easily impact on your marriage.
You may need more help with household chores to free you up to focus on something else or perhaps you need your spouse to take the lead on resolving a family issue? You could just need time to talk things through with your husband or for your partner to be home earlier.
If any change is needed for a temporary or longer term issue then chat this through with your spouse and encourage him to do the same with you. Clearly communicating your evolving needs and working together to resolve family issues will preserve your marriage.
And ladies; don’t hint, huff or leave anything unsaid; men tend to make terrible mind readers and often need things spelled out – it’s just the way they are wired up!
Touching base like this is a great way to re-evaluate what you need from each other and have realistic expectations from your marriage. It certainly beats assuming your partner will understand what you want and then feeling disappointed or even angry if he didn’t absorb your needs by osmosis!
If you can get this aspect of your marriage right then you will be avoiding a common marriage pitfall made by women. So wise up and keep your marriage strong!
So forewarned is forearmed; see if you can take a simple step to improve your marriage.
Giving sex a low priority
Think back to the early days of your relationship when you couldn’t keep your hands off each other! One of the biggest mistakes that women can make in marriage is not finding the time or energy to give their sex life priority. Women in troubled marriages often demote the importance of intimacy in marriage.
Many women switch off from sex. This can be for many reasons; over tiredness, low self esteem, poor body image, lack of emotional connection, loss of desire and so on.
Importance of Sex
Sex is an integral part of marriage. If there is an issue with your emotional intimacy then it will affect your physical connection too – and vice versa. Put simply the physical and emotional sides of your marriage are connected and if you put a low priority on either side then your marriage will likely suffer.
An active sex life often holds even more importance to men than for women. Women tend to get a lot of satisfaction from their emotional connection to their spouse but men do seem to have a greater need for physical intimacy to continually forge that special closeness to their spouse.
Put Sex back on the Agenda
To avoid this common marriage mistake we advise you to get loved up with your spouse! It doesn’t have to be every night – even once a week or at longer intervals is fine; as long as you find the time to make each other feel loved and special.
Don’t forget the role of romance – set the scene, get in the mood; scented candles, a lovely meal and all those slow songs that are meaningful to you both. Share your special memories and really rekindle your emotional connection to encourage a meaningful and joyous physical reconnection.
Giving sex a low priority is a common marriage mistake made by women so addressing this could go a long way to making your marriage stronger.
Barbara has been a marriage counselor for over 15 years. The real “in the trenches” experience in solving family problems has come from marriage of over 30 years, 6 kids, 5 kids-in-law and energetic grandkids!
For more information about Barbara, check out her website, www.Spousense.com