What’s His Attachment Style? Discover His Relationship Blueprint

Are you constantly trying to understand why he acts the way he does in your relationship?

Does his behavior leave you feeling confused, frustrated, or anxious?

Take this quick 5-question quiz to uncover his hidden relationship blueprint and gain clarity on his commitment patterns.

Answer each question based on his typical behavior and your observations.

Question 1: When you express a need for more closeness or emotional intimacy, how does he typically react?

a) He seems to pull away, gets quiet, or changes the subject, often saying he needs space.

b) He reassures you, tries to understand, and makes an effort to connect more.

c) He becomes anxious or demanding, wanting even more reassurance from you.

d) He struggles to understand what you mean by “emotional intimacy” and dismisses it.

Question 2: How does he handle conflict or disagreements in the relationship?

a) He avoids arguments, often shutting down, walking away, or refusing to discuss the issue.

b) He engages in calm, constructive conversation, seeking a resolution together.

c) He gets easily defensive, escalates the argument, or blames you.

d) He tries to lighten the mood with humor or distractions, avoiding serious discussion.

Question 3: When you spend time apart (e.g., you go on a trip, or he’s busy with work), how does he behave?

a) He seems perfectly fine, rarely checks in, and enjoys his independence, sometimes making you feel forgotten.

b) He misses you and expresses it, but he also trusts you and enjoys his own activities.

c) He texts or calls frequently, seems anxious, or expresses worry about what you’re doing.

d) He acts distant or cold upon your return, as if punishing you for the separation.

Question 4: How does he respond when you talk about your feelings, especially vulnerable ones?

a) He listens politely but rarely offers deep emotional support or seems uncomfortable with intense emotions.

b) He listens actively, validates your feelings, and offers comfort and understanding.

c) He gets overwhelmed, tries to fix your emotions, or makes it about his own feelings.

d) He minimizes your feelings or suggests you’re being overly sensitive.

Question 5: What is his general attitude towards commitment and defining the relationship?

a) He avoids labels, expresses concerns about being tied down, or changes the subject when commitment is brought up.

b) He is open and clear about his desire for a committed, long-term relationship, and his actions align with his words.

c) He pushes for commitment very early on, often seeming anxious about the relationship status.

d) He sends mixed signals, sometimes talking about a future, other times pulling away.

Quiz Results & What They Mean

If you primarily answered (a) to the questions, he likely has a Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment Style.

• What it means: He values independence above all else and often suppresses emotions. He may struggle with intimacy and commitment, pulling away when things get too close. He might appear self-sufficient but often fears being controlled or losing his freedom.

• Your experience: You might feel constantly chasing him, misunderstood, or like he doesn’t need you. His need for space can feel like rejection.

If you primarily answered (b) to the questions, he likely has a Secure Attachment Style.

• What it means: He is comfortable with intimacy and independence. He communicates openly, trusts easily, and is generally stable and reliable in relationships. He can offer emotional support and receive it without fear.

• Your experience: You likely feel safe, respected, and valued in the relationship. He is a consistent and supportive partner.

If you primarily answered (c) to the questions, he likely has an Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment Style.

• What it means: He craves intimacy and closeness but often fears abandonment. He may be overly dependent, constantly seeking reassurance, and can become clingy or jealous. His self-worth often depends on the relationship.

• Your experience: You might feel overwhelmed by his need for attention, or like you can never quite reassure him enough. His intensity can be draining.

If you primarily answered (d) to the questions, he likely has a Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized) Attachment Style.

• What it means: He desires intimacy but is also deeply afraid of it, often due to past trauma or inconsistent caregiving. He sends mixed signals, pushing people away when they get too close, then pulling them back. He struggles with trust and emotional regulation.

• Your experience: The relationship might feel like a rollercoaster of intense closeness followed by sudden distance. You might feel confused and constantly on edge, unsure of where you stand.

What Now?

REVISED ENDING C: WHAT’S HE REALLY THINKING

Understanding his attachment style explains his patterns, but here’s what really matters:

When you know what’s going through his head, you know how to respond in a way that heals his attachment wounds instead of triggering them.

His Dismissive-Avoidant style makes him pull away when things get close. But if you understand what he’s actually thinking in that moment – the fear running through his mind, the story he’s telling himself – you can respond in a way that makes him feel safe instead of smothered.

The difference between knowing his attachment style and understanding his thoughts:

Knowing his style: “He’s avoidant, so he pulls away when things get intimate.”

Understanding his thoughts: “When I said ‘I love you,’ he’s thinking ‘Now she’ll want more from me than I can give’ – so if I respond with pressure, he’ll run. But if I give him space while staying warm, he’ll come back closer.”

If you answered mostly (a) – Dismissive-Avoidant: You need to know what’s happening in his mind when he goes silent after your best date, needs “space” without explanation, or gets distant when you bring up the future. His attachment style explains the pattern – but understanding his actual thoughts shows you how to gradually heal it.

Inside “What’s He Really Thinking” you’ll discover:

• The 15 things he wishes you knew but will never say (page 27)
• What’s actually running through his mind when he pulls away
• How to respond in ways that ease his attachment fears instead of triggering them
• The “good husband” test that predicts if he can heal (page 101)
• Why 9 out of 10 women accidentally make avoidant men more avoidant (page 10)

The quiz told you his attachment style. This book shows you how to heal it through understanding his mind.

No more guessing. No more accidentally pushing him further away.

Men are predictable once you know the code.

Let me give you the combination.

Questions? Contact us at

RelationshipHeadquarters