You’ve just had the “perfect” date… then wondered why he never asked you out again? You seemed to have such a great connection. You had fun. He seemed to have a good time as well. Yet he never called you again. What went wrong? This scenario is unfortunately common, one many women have experienced. Here are three common reasons why he hasn’t asked you out again…and what you can do about it.
1. Leave The Interviewing in the Boardroom
You asked him about his job, his parents, his interests, his future. You asked about his hobbies, childhood, aspirations, personality type, and everything else imaginable. While you may have learned a lot, he probably felt like he was being interviewed rather than dated.
This is an all-too-common mistake women make, especially strong, confident career women. Did you interview him rather than engage in a real, back-and-forth conversation? Did you come across as strong, argumentative, and businesslike? While this is awesome in the boardroom, it’s not conducive to romance. He’s looking for love, not a job. If you grilled him interview style, he probably won’t ask you out again.
Next time, leave work at the office and show off your feminine side. Leave the business suit and interview questions behind you and enjoy some lighthearted, flirty banter instead. Be sure to let him talk as well and truly listen to what he’s saying. Men love this.
2. Slow Down, Tigress
The first date was awesome and, to show him how much you enjoyed yourself, you texted him. Then you texted him again. And again. Then you called and left a message. Perhaps you even added him on Facebook, liked every one of his statuses, and already changed your relationship status.
If that sounds like you, take a step back and put down the cell phone because it makes a man think you’re too needy. Men like to pursue a woman. Let him do this. If you’re too persistent, you may come across as needy or desperate. This is never a good thing! Don’t be too available. Don’t be a stalker. A little distance is good, especially in the beginning. As tempting as it is to proclaim your affection to the world, simmer down. Take it slowly.
3. It’s Not You… It’s Him
Ladies, there won’t always be something you can point to and say, “Ah, this is the reason why he never asked me out again.” Some men are simply serial daters. They are charming and wonderful, fun to be around and gracious. The date was likely awesome. The problem is that all he wants are dates, dates with many different women. Deep in his heart, he is actually fearful of a commitment.
Perhaps he’s only after easy sex. No matter how wonderful, beautiful, or interesting you were, he’s looking for variety and not commitment. Accept the evening for what it was and move on to a better man.
In some cases, you may also have said or done something that struck at a man’s insecurities or bothered him in some way.
There’s no way you could know this. For example, if a wealthy man is wary of gold diggers and you mention that you love vacationing in Paris, he may label you as a gold digger and not call you back. No, it’s not fair. No, he didn’t take the time to get to know you. However, it’s also not you that is the problem. It’s him. Really.
Keep in mind as well that just because he hasn’t called you and asked you out again in three days or a week that all hope is lost. He may be busy. He may have a lot going on in his life. Also, he may be a bit shy and take his time. There are so many possible reasons why he hasn’t asked you out again that have absolutely nothing to do with you. Don’t get hung up on one man. Don’t overthink what went wrong.
If it’s meant to be, he’ll ask you out again. If not, there is another man out there who will adore you and enjoy spending time together. He’s waiting for you.