by Liz Spornick
Has this ever happened to you? You’re dating a man you really like, you think things are going great and then, seemingly out of nowhere, he begins to pull away. He stops getting in touch as frequently, starts canceling plans and you’re left wondering where you went wrong and feeling very confused. Here are four of the main reasons that men pull away, and what you can do about it.
He realized that you weren’t the one for him.
Admittedly, this is a tough pill to swallow but it can also be extremely freeing to consider that the cause for a guy’s radio silence is simple—he’s just not that into you. Should he have perhaps sat you down and told you face to face that for whatever reason, you aren’t what he was looking for instead of falling off the face of the Earth? Probably, although that doesn’t sound like a fun conversation either. It’s likely that he didn’t want to hurt your feelings and thought fading out might be easier on you (or him!)
He realized that you ARE the one for him.
Sometimes the reason for a guy’s cold shoulder is because he began developing strong feelings for you, and wasn’t ready for it. Granted, this option is what a lot of women probably convince themselves of to prevent accepting the more harsh truth, but it does ring true in some cases. Some men do get scared when they find themselves unexpectedly falling in love, and he might be stepping back to give himself the time and space to really think about you and your future as a couple. While this is no excuse for disappearing on you, if he gets in touch with you in a week and opens up his heart, give him a chance. You were so awesome that you threw him off his game; take it as a compliment…and then make sure he knows that vanishing is not an option again in the future.
He feels suffocated.
Many men are hesitant to commit to a relationship in fear of their new girlfriend totally suffocating them, and start to withdraw at the first indication that you might be a stage five clinger. Even if your intentions are in the right place, constantly calling or texting him, waiting to spend your every free minute with him and trying to inject yourself into every single aspect of his life can make a man feel cornered, and naturally, he might run. Falling for someone new is exciting, but remember not to make your new relationship the center of your life. Stay busy and engaged with hobbies and friends outside of him, and allow him space to be an individual.
He is hiding something.
When a man all of a sudden turns into a ghost, it definitely gives you reason to think that something unsavory is going on. Is he married? Is he seeing other women? Is he lying about something? Chances are, the answer to that last question is probably. The thing is, you might never know the exact reason for his fade-out, and at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter. Let him know that he can share things with you, and that you’d like to know the truth, but if he doesn’t offer it up or make an effort to share his entire life with you, it is time to move on to the next guy who can give you 100% of his heart, emotions and time.
Liz Spornick was born and raised in Southern California. A former fashion marketing account executive, she is now the social media manager and dating expert for the worldwide online dating website WeLoveDates.com.
A bad breakup spurred Liz to start her first blog seven years ago, and after finding a knack for dispensing relatable, honest dating and love advice, she has happily been over-sharing with anyone who will read ever since on the WeLoveDates award winning blog.
Liz credits her success to her ability to connect with single women, and doesn’t shy away from sharing her own personal experiences, however mortifying or hilarious they might be. Her work has appeared on the Huffington Post, Marie Claire UK, Yahoo, MSN and the Gloss.