Understanding Men

Couples Who Fight – One Word Makes A Difference

February 3, 2010
by Bob Grant, L.P.C.
I’ll admit I love research. Especially the kind that provides insights that are simple to use and repeat. That’s why
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this insight, in my opinion, is very helpful for couples.

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Comments (11)

  • Great find, Bob! Couples should take note of the article that you found. Using “we” in any conflict denotes partnership; you are acknowledging that you and your partner are in a committed relationship. Both of you have to work at it to resolve any conflict. Moreover, using the word “we” may mean that you are putting yourself in your partner’s shoes. This means that you are understanding where he / she is coming from, hence minimize the blame game.

  • I think it’s positive to use language that simply talks about ourselves when we find ourselves in conflict. I usually recommend that people use statements that don’t include the other person, the “I” statements. Talking about our own experience and then letting the other person talk an equal amount of time is a great way to help people communicate more effectively. It also helps for people to put aside their gut reactions and just listen openly to the other person without rebuttals, editorializing or minimizing what the other person is saying.

    It basically comes down to people giving each other the space to be themselves and feel important – both people.

  • This minute difference could actually make difference. Yes, I do agree with the use of WE. I think it does reinforce the idea of partnership in making a relationship work. Also, it does not put the blame solely on one person. Very good point. Thank you for sharing this one bud!

  • Relationships are difficult. One of my biggest pet peaves are people who can’t control the words that come out their mouth. We are supposed to care for one another. We must remember that even in the heat of the moment!

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About The Author – Bob Grant, L.P.C.

Bob Grant is a Clinically Trained Relationship Expert who’s been working with women for over since 1997. He helps women create successful, satisfying, and fulfilling love relationships by simply understanding men. Click here to learn more about Bob.
Bob Grant, L.P.C.
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