Understanding Men

Getting Him Back

April 24, 2008
by Bob Grant, L.P.C.
If you have just had a relationship end, then you are most likely feeling overwhelmed (assuming you want him back) and perhaps a bit desperate. Nearly every day my office staff gets several phone calls from women who want to speak with me – RIGHT NOW. They don’t mean to be pushy, they’re just scared, and they feel that if they wait too long then
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they might lose him forever.

Of course the fastest thing to do would be to hire someone immediately, preferable a professional who has spent years working with individuals and couples. If you need to speak with someone – RIGHT NOW – then here are some resources:

www.askmarsvenus.com (The original Mars – Venus guy)

www.collinspartners.com (Very good reputation)

www.relationshipheadquarters.com (Yours Truly)

But for some the cost of hiring someone they don’t know can be a bit intimidating or perhaps you just want some quick insight. In that case, it might be a better idea to simply read some articles (and they’re free) and see if any of this advice might be helpful to your situation.

Here are some articles:




If these don’t answer your question it’s probably because these like most articles they are often written in a general and brief manner. As an author I can attest to the fact that it’s hard to describe how to get someone back into your life in one page or less which leads to the next suggestion. Buy a book. It’s less than hiring someone and often they come with a money back guarantee.

Here are some options:





These are some suggestions. It isn’t meant to give you the answer because your situation is unique to you. The idea is to give you some resources so that you can decide which are best for your situation.

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Comments (7)

  • My ex moved on to another woman 3 wks after we split up. I was doing what Bob recommends by giving him space and not contacting him but I found out a month after we last talked that he started dating this other woman right after we last talked. She is 10 yrs older than him! What can I do now??

  • After your ex leaves you is a desperate time, you feel like you want to die. One thing that is often overlooked is you need to give them space. Think about the reasons for the split and try to work on yourself first before attempting to work it out.

  • So apparently they don’t always contact you (after the break up) in an attempt to “get back together”. My ex has continued to contact me to do work for him since we broke up. In a previous blog post, the doctor said that he wouldn’t make an effort to keep me around if he wasn’t interested. But now, I recently found out that he’s engaged. Is it possible that he only asks me to do work for him because he feels bad about how he broke up with me?

    And the mystery goes on!!!

  • I probably should qualify what “wouldn’t make any effort,” means. Most men don’t waste time nor do they invest much effort in someone or something unless feel they are getting something back in return. If he was trying to get you to “do work for him,” you may have your answer as to why he maintained contact.

    There are always exceptions and to be honest, if he’s engaged and still reaching out to you – that just sounds strange. Would you really want someone like this back in your life?

  • Having read and re read everything Bob and Mimi have written I finally had the strength to put myself first and show that I believe I am worth more. But two weeks later I am regretting my moves. My boyfriend and I are long distance and we had just had one of our regular sleepovers which was wonderful as ever but on his return he withdrew and although I knew I shouldnt I showed desperate and needy moods despite his scant but reasurring messages. I pushed to far He finally said lets be friends and I said Nope! I’m too involved to back peddle,I want a loving relationship
    with you. I ended by wishing him well. He did not respond and two weeks later I still haven’t heard from him. He signs off line when he see’s me sign on and that hurts too! I don’t like doing nothing isn’t there another way to get him back? He is so balanced and patient it will be months if he ever makes contact. Sad and missing him… Alison x

  • why do men move on quickly after a break-up? My ex and I were together for 4 years. We broke u a month ago and now he is talking about marriage with his new girlfriend (they started dating a week after we broke-up). They both have children under the age of 6.

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About The Author – Bob Grant, L.P.C.

Bob Grant is a Clinically Trained Relationship Expert who’s been working with women for over since 1997. He helps women create successful, satisfying, and fulfilling love relationships by simply understanding men. Click here to learn more about Bob.
Bob Grant, L.P.C.
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