Understanding Men – Trying To Figure Them Out

I know it’s confusing trying to figure out men. The truth is that we really don’t use as much of our brains when it comes to relationships like women do. We get accused of being mean, selfish and rude (well men can actually be all of these), but in reality many times it’s simply because men are clueless. This is why there are books out there that say propose helping women with titles like Capture His Heart. When I speak with women they learn pretty early that I’m pro Man (uh, male species). Rather than complaining about men, wouldn’t it just be easier to understand what makes men work and use it to your advantage? The women who have taken me up on this are the ones who write me thank you letters and some have even invited me to their weddings.

6 thoughts on “Understanding Men – Trying To Figure Them Out”

  1. Hi: I am have been unsuccesful in catching a serious relationship with a guy. I have tried everything from detaining sex, to beging aloof, to having sex pretty quickly, making friends first, to being a friend, you can say it and I have done it. I think that I have come to a conclusion that something is off about me…but what I am sexy, beautiful, smart, educated…the only I can come up with is emotional intelligence I think I am lacking in this department. Even though I am grounded and well balanced I think my heart opens very quickly and I appear weak and I also expect to much I think. If I like the guy I really want confirmation verbally and through his actions. If I don’t get it I ask questions or I invite him to open up to communicate with me. I think being on a friendship level will help get to the reasons but the guys don’t care about the reasons do they. The power is in their court as far as the end results are concerned unless the women knows how to make him beg for more. I understand this and I believe this is very difficult to aquire. I had so much patience in the past to let a guy do what he wants to come and go as he pleases and that didn’t work. I would not bother to call him and wait and wait and no calls, even if I did everything right I still did not get the results that I wanted. It seems until he wants me I would not get a call, this same scenario happens over and over no matter what techniques I use are guys mad!!!

    It seems also that all they want me for is sex…there have been men in the past that wanted to marry me I past up some great opportunities thinking they were to old, or not my type.

    I have someone right now that I would very much like to create a relationship with…but I am afraid I have made a few mistakes and he senses it…I hope I can figure this out before to long…

  2. The short answer is that men only value what they have to work for. If you can work on keeping your relationships with men slower, it will come across as very attractive because so many women don’t.
    If you want a man to confirm his feelings, it reeks of insecurity, whether you are or not. Being patient isn’t letting a guy do what he wants, that’s being a doormate. Patience is about you controling how fast or slow the relationship goes on an intimate level.
    Here is the quick rule: Never let a guy take you for granted. Once he does it’s time to get busy doing something, but DON’T be too available. Otherwise a guy will ge tired of you and not call.

  3. i started a relationship -i was leery,he made all the moves -i felt it was moving quickly,although we had sex …it was wonderful…then i started to show feelings -now he is scared -he will pull me in then send me back out ….when he pulls me back in he more serious -then backs away ..he looks for long times into my eyes… Whats up?

  4. The short answer is that once a man has sex with a woman, his goal is met. Men don’t equate Sex with Love like women do. The solution is Timing. If this is someone you think might be a long term potential mate, then quit having sex. If you just want to date him, then having sex will most likely keep things the way they are. It is simply a matter of what you want out of this relationship.
    Men will do almost anything to get what they want, even wait. If you make it too easy on him, you have given him the impression that you are too easy and he will lose interest.

  5. Is it really all that simple? Just withhold sex? Good grief. I’m in my late 40s and had sex with my husband within 4 weeks of the first time we met. We were married for 18 years. I’ve held off on having sex with other guys and they’ve just disappeared. It just smacks of power plays, IMHO. And adolesence

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