Having a baby is an amazing experience. It brings out all sorts of qualities in you both and unleashes a fierce love that never dies. However, despite this many couples say their love life grinds to a halt. In some cases it can literally take years to get back on track.
That’s why understanding the 6 key things you need to do to re-spark your sex life after a baby will be invaluable to your relationship.
Don’t get jealous! You may not be the center of attention for the moment but your new baby really does need maximum care and attention. You will need to adjust your expectations and be realistic about what is important and what will need to take a rain check.
Fellas often feel left out, especially in the early days when it’s a never ending cycle of feeding, changing, getting baby to sleep and catching up on household chores. Be understanding to your spouse; even if you don’t have much time; be communicative and loving. Don’t be so absorbed in the care of your baby that you cut out your partner.
Teamwork is so important in a relationship. Share the love and share the load! Make sure you both have time to rest. If you want to have the time, strength and inclination for sex then you need to look after each other. Going to bed with a partner who is completely exhausted is not likely to lead to a night of passion!
Even if you are not having sex at the moment there is no need not to be sexual. Be loving, tactile and flirt! Keep up the pet names, give each other lots of supportive hugs and tell each other you love each other. When you go to bed, if sex isn’t on the agenda, then look at other ways to feel close; a nice candlelit massage is romantic and relaxing and keeps the tender feelings alive.
Your partner’s body has completely changed over her pregnancy and it will take time for her to lose the extra pounds she has gained. In order for your partner to have sex she needs to feel body-confident and that means that you need to reassure her. Tell her she is beautiful. Explain that her curves are sexy. Build up her confidence.
Don’t assume your partner doesn’t find you attractive any more. Curvy girls are very sexy so enjoy and celebrate your fuller figure!
Often women don’t want to return to full sex immediately after the birth because they are not ready psychologically or physically. But this does not mean you can’t both have a sex life. Be creative and enjoy touching each other and showing your love without having full sex.
If you feel like you are taking time to heal ‘down below’ or that you have a low libido that is not returning to normal then pay your doctor a visit. There are all sorts of physical and hormonal changes after birth and your doctor will be able advise you how to get back to normal.
Having a baby can cause complete chaos to your routine and your relationship. So use our tips to regain control of your love life and maintain a happy relationship.
Barbara has been a marriage counselor for over 15 years. The real “in the trenches” experience in solving family problems has come from marriage of over 30 years, 6 kids, 5 kids-in-law and energetic grandkids!
For more information about Barbara, check out her website, www.Spousense.com