Well-meaning friends often tell them they are being too “picky” when they can’t find a quality man to spend the rest of their life with. As a clinically-trained relationship expert, I know that there can be a variety of reasons why an attractive and successful woman struggles to find a strong secure man.

Our criteria for making the best of the best:

1. Has to have sold over 100,000 copies. If women don’t find it helpful, then they won’t buy it; and all 3 of these have sold well over that number.
2. It has to actually work. Who cares if it’s simply entertaining if you go out and try some of the suggestions and get the same old results?
3. It must be practical. Let’s face it; some suggestions might work (like going on a new date every night), but actually doing them would be nothing BUT work. We want something that doesn’t require a woman to change, but it triggers her natural ability to effortlessly attract men.

In no particular order, these 3 books have met our rigorous test.

1. The 5 Love Languages – Gary Chapman

What if you had a secret button that whenever someone pushed, you’d feel a wave of love toward that person? Then imagine that you knew what that one special man’s love trigger was and you could push it again and again. These falling in love tips are relatively simple, but Mr. Chapman has identified what he calls the five love languages (triggers): Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Not only is it valuable to know a man’s love language, but when you know your own and share that with the man you love, it’s like giving him the ultimate gift for making you happy.

2. Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man – Steve Harvey

This comedian and TV talk show host is funny, but he also offers women great advice on why men take women for granted (not that he encourages this). With his street-smart wit, he opens the reader’s mind to how a man sees them during all phases of a relationship.

He is also adamant that a woman not allow herself to do whatever it takes to make a man happy – translation…don’t sleep with a man to keep him.

3. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus – John Gray, Ph.D.

This is a classic for a reason. When it comes to understanding how differently men and women are in relationships, this is the gold standard. Not only is it insightful, but his suggestions have been copied by therapists for the last 20 years because they work!

The truth is that at times it really does seem like men and women are from a different planet; and after reading this classic, it made me realize that those same differences are also the qualities that bring romance into a relationship.

4. The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave

I’ll admit most women haven’t heard about Bob Grant. After working with over 1000 couples, Bob Grant decided to show women what men find captivating in a woman. Surprisingly, this doesn’t focus on the usual advice; getting a man to open up about his feelings, don’t date jerks, or talking sexy to keep him interested.

What I found so interesting is learning that #1 thing that will stir up the passion in a woman’s emotions. When I first read that, I thought there must be something wrong because I’ve been accused by some men of being too emotional. Yet, the more I delved into the program; I began to remember those times when my boyfriend couldn’t get enough of me, and now I understood why.

Bob calls this the “Campfire Effect” which he got from how warm and enticing a campfire is on a cold winter night.

In fact, click here to watch this short video that explains how “The Campfire Effect” worked for Anna.