by Sarah Brooks
Relationships are hard to maintain under the best circumstances, so extraordinary challenges can be extremely difficult to overcome. Extramarital affairs are some of the most damaging developments for couples, regardless of how long they have been together. On the surface, many affairs don’t make sense; especially when married men fall for the “other” woman. But while there are extenuating circumstances unique to each case, there are also consistent patterns present in the way adulterous indiscretions play-out.
Affairs emerge at different points in couples’ progression, so the answers to why they occur are not always found in the way relationships develop. And children are not the deciding factors either, because moms and dads seem to share the same predilections as their childless counterparts. Illicit behavior doesn’t arrive genetically, in a predetermined code of conduct programmed into a man’s DNA. So what is it, exactly, that makes a man fall for another woman?
1. Physical Features
Married men and women grow into phases where their appearance and physical ambitions no longer meet eye to eye. When one partner has a more youthful spirit or physical appearance than the other, it becomes more likely he or she will seek a connection with someone sharing similar traits.
On the other hand, as men age, their taste in women often stalls and skews toward physical beauty younger than their own.The classic case of an older man being attracted to a younger woman plays out commonly in extramarital situations, when men fall for youthful women. In some cases, social recognition also plays a role, prompting men to fall for women who make them appear younger to onlookers.
2. Work relationships Emerge from Shared Experiences
Married men and women often spend a large part of each day apart from one another. During these times, men and women form close relationships with co-workers, with whom they spend their days. In addition to close proximity, work relationships come together over shared experiences, giving men and women common reference points.
It is very common for coworkers; especially those working in demanding fields like law enforcement and business, to gravitate toward one-another for extramarital affairs. In some cases, men fall for their own employees, further complicating the illicit dynamic.
Meaningful explanations are not always pleasant when adulterous affairs emerge, so simpler rationalizations, like opportunity, furnish the only excuses for the improper conduct. Younger men tend to socialize more aggressively than their older counterparts, so impulsive, opportunistic affairs are more common among younger husbands.
4. Low-Pressure Relationships are Appealing to Stressed-Out Men
Life becomes complicated as marriages carry on, adding responsibilities and commitments with every passing year. Family and financial obligations, for example, weigh heavily on married couples, who sometimes lose sight of their shared values.
Extramarital affairs don’t carry the some history and baggage as marriages, so men pursue casual relationships to escape the “heavy” issues at home. Ironically, the “lighter” side of an extramarital relationship reminds men of the early days of their own marriages, before things become complex.
5. Overcompensation for Unhappiness
Facing personal and professional challenges; some men seek happiness outside their marriages. While their relationships with their spouses might not be the most troubling problems they are grappling with, adulterous husbands nonetheless use affairs to fill voids in their lives.
The strategy seldom furnishes positive results, serving instead to complicate uncertainty for philanderers. Communication and trust are at the heart of marital success, so generally unhappiness is not a worthy justification for falling for the other women.
Affairs develop due to a variety of influences, so there is no precise blueprint explaining men’s decision-making. Patterns do become apparent though, as illicit affairs share some common traits. In most cases, there are multiple issues at play, ranging from opportunity to deep-seated marital difficulties.
This is a guest post by Sarah Brooks from Freepeoplesearch.org, a people finder site. She is a Houston based freelance writer and blogger. Questions and comments can be sent to brooks.sarah23 @ gmail.com.