The Best Places to Meet Men: Virtually Unknown

Places Where Single Women are Tremendously Outnumbered by Single Men by 10 to 1 (or even 30 to 1)

If you’re a single woman, I’m sure you’ve heard unsolicited advice from well-intentioned people who insist on helping you find a man. They say: “You have to go out more” or “Don’t be so picky or you’ll end up an old maid” or “I suggest you go to singles parties, mixers and clubs,” etc.

The problem is … their run-of-the-mill advice never seems to do you any good, does it?

Well, you’re not going to hear that same old advice from me. In fact, I’m going to tell you just the opposite.

You see, no matter how frequently you go out, if you keep going to the usual places where single women go to meet men — whether it be bars, dance clubs, or singles parties — there’s a great probability that you’re not going to meet the man of your dreams. That’s the sobering truth.

I’m not saying you won’t meet men if you go to bars and clubs. Men are plentiful at those places. But more often than not, you’ll get quantity but not quality. The kind of man you are likely to meet in such places is usually looking for sexual partners, not a woman with whom to have a relationship. That’s those places are often called “meat markets.”

Now, if a sexual partner is all you want, then by all means, go to bars and clubs — and you probably won’t have much trouble finding men who’d be interested in hooking up with you. But if you’re looking to meet a man with whom you could possibly develop a relationship — or even marry one day — you’re looking in the wrong places.

The other problem with going to bars, clubs and other singles places is that even if there might be some guys worth meeting at those places, the competition is fierce. Women who are looking to meet men are also plentiful in those places. Is it any wonder why a lot of attractive women seldom meet men — even when they go out a lot?

The key is to go to places where other women don’t usually hang out — places where women are tremendously outnumbered by men. Here are a few of the best I’ve found:

A woman named Stephanie, who’s now happily married — but who used to be a single woman having great difficulty finding men — gave me the secret place where she met more eligible men than she could handle. She held this secret close to the vest and wouldn’t tell other women (not even her girlfriends) about it — but now that she’s married, she doesn’t mind spilling the beans.

What is this secret place? It’s the free seminars that are attended predominantly by men. You’ve seen these types of seminars advertised on TV — they offer one-hour introductory seminars on everything from small business start-up to real estate investing to stock investing.

She discovered this by accident when she attended a free seminar about how to start an Internet business, which was held at the LAX Hilton in Los Angeles. She attended not for the purpose of meeting men, but just because she was interested in the subject of the seminar. She was shocked when she entered the ballroom where the seminar was held. There were hundreds of people in attendance — and 97% of them were men! Of course, not all of them were single, but it appeared to her that between 50% to 60% of them were.

She chose a seat that was in the middle of a row of chairs (as opposed to an aisle or a seat on the outer perimeter) — so she was flanked on both right and left sides, and front and back, by men. And because it was not the kind of place where men felt at risk of being rejected, several men came up to her to engage in a conversation — both before the seminar started and after it ended. The best part was that the men she met were ambitious go-getters who were motivated about business — and were pretty much movers and shakers.

She felt as though she hit the jackpot! She met 5 interesting bachelors at that first seminar, exchanged contact information with them, and had more interesting conversations with them than she’s ever had with men she met in clubs or bars. She eventually went out on a date with 2 of the men to whom she was very attracted.

She attended another free seminar about real estate investing soon thereafter — this time, for the sole purpose of meeting men. The ratio of men to women was, again, about 30 to 1. She came prepared and even had business cards made. Stephanie was a secretary by profession, but she made gift baskets on the side to earn extra money. So her business card had the title, Gift Basket Consultant, underneath her name. She had also opened a small P.O. Box at her local post office, and that was the address she put on the card (to keep her home address private) — and she, of course, included her phone number and e-mail address.

At that seminar, she met at least 20 single men, and passed out her business card freely under the guise that she was networking for business. To her amazement, she not only got 3 e-mails and 2 phone calls from guys who were interested in her romantically, but she got 2 orders for gift baskets to boot!

Since there weren’t always free seminars advertised on TV, she looked in her local Sunday newspaper, and she never failed to find ads offering free seminars on a variety of business subjects. On a whim, she attended a seminar given by a brokerage firm regarding tax-free bonds — a subject that she wasn’t even interested in. It turned out to be the place where she met a wonderful man, who later became her boyfriend — and eventually, her husband.

Another variation to the secret place successfully used by Stephanie (above) is the one used by a family friend of ours named Erica — and that is this: Male-oriented classes or courses.

There are quite a variety of male-oriented classes you can take, ranging from construction and home repair classes, beer-tasting, automotive classes, to all kinds of sports-oriented classes. While the attendees of these classes are not all men, they are predominantly male — and women are outnumbered by at least 10 to 1. Men who attend these classes are often motivated doers and productive achievers. Plus, because you’ll be one of the few women — if not the only woman — who will attend a class such as these, you’ll bring out the natural tendency of men to want to help you, since you’re the “weaker sex.”

The key is to pick out the classes that are closest to your interests or classes that are populated by the kind of men you’d like to meet. For example, if you like to meet athletic men, you might want to attend a sports-oriented class.

Erica happened to love beer. So she attended beer-tasting classes and, as a result, has been constantly surrounded by men who love beer as much, if not more, than she does. She eventually started dating a guy she met in one of the beer-tasting classes, and has enjoyed a long-term, committed relationship with him.

Another place where men significantly outnumber women is at your local home improvement store or hardware store. The next time you’re at Lowe’s or any other similar store, head for the section that carries either lumber or screws — and that’s where you’ll find the most men. (Women usually gravitate to the paint department.) These types of stores are yet another example of places where males tend to be helpful toward women, and therefore, present a great natural opportunity to initiate a casual conversation concerning anything from what kind of wood to use for a deck to how to connect 3-way switches or how to remove a stuck and broken light bulb.

An acquaintance of mine told me of a woman who approached him while he was shopping at a home improvement store. She asked him if he knew the best way to fix broken ceramic floor tiles in a bathroom. My friend was happy to tell her how it was done, what supplies to buy, etc. He then asked her to join him for coffee at the Starbucks next door, and she agreed. They eventually started dating, and he even ended up replacing all the floor tiles in her bathroom for her.

An often overlooked opportunity to meet single men is by volunteering in fundraising events. There is an endless array of fundraising organizations to choose from, depending again on your interests or the type of men you want to meet. You could volunteer for anything from animal rescues, environmentally-conscious endeavors, raising funds for a hospice, or any number of other events.

The kind of men you’re likely to meet are those who tend to be altruistic, who care about certain causes, and who are not likely to be shallow or self-absorbed. You’re also likely to meet a man with whom you share a common passion.

Fundraising activities are also represent a less awkward social situation for meeting men because initiating conversation is usually necessary and not at all contrived. Furthermore, they afford opportunities to get to know someone through repeated encounters.

A woman, who has since gone on the write a book about how to marry a rich man, met a wealthy man who later became her husband when she volunteered for a political fundraiser in which her husband was a contributor. Political fundraisers are customarily teeming with wealthy single men, and volunteering to help out gives you free access without having to shell out the money for thousand-dollar-per-plate dinners.

There are countless volunteer options. There are even some that are male-oriented, such as those having to do with science and energy. You can search for volunteer fundraising opportunities online. Local newspapers often list volunteer opportunities on a weekly basis as well.

I heard of a clever single woman named Jenny, who cooked up an idea to surround herself with 10 or more single men at a time. She got the idea while shopping at a store that sells kitchen supplies and food items. The store was offering a “Men Only Cooking Class.” When she inquired about the cooking class, she was told that it was very popular, especially among single men who lived alone, wanted to eat more than just TV dinners and prepared food, but didn’t have a clue how to cook. They were scared to death of cooking and didn’t have the patience to follow a recipe book or tune in to a cooking show on TV. They wanted to be led by the hand and shown how to cook the simplest dishes — all the way down to the proper way to peel an onion.

A light bulb went on in Jenny’s head. She thought about offering a similar hands-on cooking class so that she could meet single men. She wasn’t an expert cook, by any means, but she did know how to cook a few good meals very well, such as a perfect meat loaf, Roast Fillet of Beef, Fettuccini Alfredo, Chicken a la King, Shrimp Scampi and delicious fall-off-the-bone ribs and the like. So she put the following ad in the local newspaper:

Cooking Class for Single Men
Learn the easy way to cook delicious homemade meals
in a 5-week hands-on class — and eat the finished dishes!
Call Jenny at _________________

She charged $12 for each class (or $60 for the 5-week course). She took on 10 to 15 students in each class, and grossed $600 to $900 for the 5 weeks (teaching only one night a week). When she deducted the cost of the food ingredients and the modest fee she paid the local adult school, where she held her classes, she cleared $300 to $600 — while doing something she loved — cooking! Best of all, she was surrounded by 10 to 15 bachelors every single week! Because she was the only woman, the men competed for her attention and kept asking her out — and as a result, she was never without dates on a Friday or Saturday night.

The important thing to note is this: It didn’t matter that Jenny wasn’t a cooking pro. She just knew how to cook a few dishes well, and her students were none the wiser! And, of course, you already know the old wives’ tale that “the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!”

This “teaching a class for single men” idea has many variations that are limited only by your imagination. Think about your specific knowledge and skill set — and figure out what men would want to learn from you. It could run the gamut from teaching time management, dancing, real estate, singing, public speaking, massage, a foreign language, organizational skills — or you could offer wardrobe or image consulting, gift-buying, etc. The sky’s the limit.

BONUS SECTION: In Which Cities Can You Find the Most Single Men?

In keeping with the theme of finding places where single men outnumber single women, I want to mention two studies conducted recently that revealed the cities in the U.S. where the most sizeable concentrations of single men are. Are you living in a city where single men outnumber single women — or vice versa?

National Geographic did an eye-opening study that mapped out where the largest populations of single males reside. And the winner is … the Los Angeles-Long Beach-Santa Ana area, which has 40,000 more single men than women. To check out the other cities that National Geographic determined as having a high ratio of single men to single women, go to CreativeClass.org and click on the image of The Singles Map to enlarge the map.

Men’s Health Magazine also did a recent in-depth study of the cities where a woman can find the most number of men over the age of 35, who are not only single but also smart, educated, emotionally available and straight. The top 10 cities are as follows:

Atlanta, Georgia
New York, New York
Arlington, Texas
Raleigh, North Carolina
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Fremont, California
Austin, Texas
Washington, DC
San Diego, California

To see a list of the top 100 cities, go to American Community Survey.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST:

Clearly, the reason you’ve wanted to discover the best — and virtually unknown — places to meet single men is because you want to find “the one” — Mr. Right … your soul mate … the man of your dreams.

I’d like to warn you, however, that even after you’ve found the perfect places where you can meet hundreds of eligible men, you would still have difficulty finding your dream man — unless you develop a specific awareness of what you really want in a man.

Furthermore, if you don’t prepare yourself mentally and emotionally to meet your dream man, you might manage to meet and date dozens of men but still never find the one that’s right for you. It would be just like throwing the dice and accepting whomever luck decides is the man for you.

If, on the other hand, you don’t want to have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding your prince — or waste a lot of time using the trial-and-error method of finding Mr. Right, but instead, have a proven plan for attracting your dream man, make him fall in love with you — and propose marriage to you within 6 to 12 months or less, I invite you to read How to Find the Man of Your Dreams.