A Deeper Connection

Friends with Benefits: Is It Worth It?

February 7, 2021
by Missy C

by Brenda Adair

There are advantages and disadvantages of a friends with benefits arrangement, otherwise known as a “casual relationship”. You may be in a situation where you are considering starting this arrangement with someone—either a new or long-lasting (no pun intended!) friend. If this is the case, this article will talk you through some of the things that you should be aware of before you make this decision!
free guide transform your husband

FREE GUIDE: Transform Your Husband

Don’t Miss Out On This Free Offer!

Motivate, Inspire, & Mold Him

Access Your Free Guide Today 

Set the Ground Rules

A successful friends with benefits arrangement usually requires a clear and mutual understanding between both participants of every aspect of the arrangement. Talk to each other about what you are each expecting from it and what you want to avoid. From here you can set a list of “ground rules” for the arrangement that should be agreed upon and followed by both of you.

These ground rules can range from practical considerations such as where and when you will meet each other, to more serious things like whether your arrangement will be secret or known about by others. You should also discuss what your personal and sexual boundaries are and each agree not to cross them.

It is also usually best to agree on what will happen in the event of one or both of you developing deeper feelings—regular sex can often create emotional bonds, and developing attachment is a common occurrence in casual relationships. If you start to feel a romantic attachment towards him or think that he probably likes you as more than a friend, keeping things “casual” may be difficult or even emotionally destructive.

Use Protection

An unavoidable conversation that needs to be had is that of safe sex. It is important to practice safe sex, even if each of you is only engaging in sexual activity with the other. It is recommended to use at least one form of contraception (e.g. condoms, the contraceptive pill, or a contraceptive implant) to avoid pregnancy or sexually-transmitted infections.

Whether or not each of you is permitted to sleep with other people outside of the arrangement should be decided and agreed upon in the ground rules. Keeping your arrangement “exclusive” can be more straightforward when it comes to safe sex—if either or both of you has multiple sexual partners, the need for getting tested becomes much more frequent!

Prioritize Your Mental Health

The most important thing in any relationship, whether it is a sexual relationship, a romantic relationship, a friendship, or some combination of these, is for it to be emotionally healthy. This means that neither person should feel taken advantage of or unhappy. Communication is vital in order to avoid this—if either of you has any doubts or issues it is important that they feel comfortable voicing them.

Often the word “friend” in “friends with benefits” is neglected. Even if you are not in a committed romantic relationship with each other, they should still want the best for you and you for them. If you are not capable of being honest and open with each other, you probably shouldn’t be sleeping with each other. A successful and healthy casual relationship requires an emotional maturity on both sides.

While having a friend with benefits should never be damaging to your mental wellbeing or sense of self-worth, it is also not a cure for problems like low self-esteem or loneliness. If you are simply seeking this arrangement to avoid being lonely, it is worth questioning if being single is really so bad.

Is It Best for You

Becoming friends with benefits does have the potential to complicate friendships, and not necessarily in a good way. If you can avoid the pitfalls, it can be a fun and healthy experience that benefits both of you!

However, if feelings of romantic attachment arise on either side, either before or during this arrangement, a casual relationship will probably not be viable for long—you may have to choose between being romantic partners and ending any form of relationship.

Whatever you decide to do, it is always important to be completely honest about your feelings, your needs, and your boundaries.
———–
Brenda is a relationships and lifestyle writer, coffee enthusiast, and a lover of new experiences. You’ll usually find her in a coffee shop with her laptop and a flat white scribbling down an article or searching for the next travel destination. She is a contributing author at GoDates, and several other online publications.

Which Program Speaks To You?

beyond bonding product image

Beyond Bonding: Your Happily Ever After

Prime Program

How can an already-amazing relationship avoid becoming just another broken romance? Go beyond bonding and learn the work it’ll take for you and your partner to live happily ever after.

what husbands cannot ressist

What Husbands Can’t Resist: He’ll Want To Marry You All Over Again

Prime Program

Discover what makes your husband tick, why he longs to feel connected to you on a deep emotional level, and reawaken his deepest desires for you.

relationship long distance love guide

Long Distance Love Guide: Secrets to Surviving The Distance Apart

Prime Program

What happens when you know this is the right man for you, but he’s not right beside you? Make long distance love really work by anticipating the challenges and avoiding the pitfalls.

Sex and intimacy program cover

Sex & Intimacy: Tap Into His Deepest Desires

Prime Program

Sex is more than just a physical act. Experience intense passion in your relationship and become the prize he pursues.

tension drives desire program

Tension Draws Him Closer: Watch Him Pursue Your

Premium Program

Having difficulty making a man feel the level of emotions for you that you feel for him? Leverage tension to create the kind of relationship you want with the Tension premium program.

Leave a Reply

About The Author – Missy C

Free Guide on How Women Can transform their husband
Don’t make the mistake of skipping this free advice!

How to Be Irresistible to Men helps you make it impossible for them to ignore you. Simply tell us your name and email address to send your free offer!


Information found on this website is not a substitute for personalized help from a licensed professional.