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Understanding Men

Sex Is Different for Men: Explore What Causes a Man to Bond with a Woman

January 9, 2013
by Bob Grant, L.P.C.
I sell an e-book. In fact, we sell several of them. They’re for women to help educate themselves on what does and doesn’t work in regards to relationships with men.
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Now I didn’t have any idea of what these women who would be calling would want to talk to me about. I assumed each session would be different. To my surprise, and my assistants, I can tell you what nearly 90% of these sessions consisted of. It went like this…

“We had three dates (pick a number) and it seemed to be going so well…..I slept with him…..and now he doesn’t call me anymore. Can you please help me get him back?

I’m not kidding when I say nearly every call was some version of the above. The problem isn’t that the woman in question made a mistake in terms of being mean, stupid, or selfish.

Most Women Don’t Realize How Men Actually Feel About Sex

The problem is that they often didn’t realize how most men feel about sex. Men are result-oriented when it comes to sex. They will do almost anything for it. Women are result-oriented when it comes to obtaining a commitment from a man. That doesn’t always apply to every single woman and man, but it does for most.

For men, sex is the primary means that enable him to FEEL deeply. Words just don’t do it for him, I’m sorry. So, if this is such a strong drive in a man, wouldn’t he be thankful and loyal to a woman who gave her body to him?

Actually, it depends on what he had to do to have access to her body. If all it took was three dates, a couple of meals, and some sweet talk, then no, he won’t be loyal at all because it came rather easy.

In many regards, it’s like a drug addict doing whatever they can to achieve their drug high.

What Happens When a Woman Gives a Man Sex

When a woman gives in to a man, or even initiates sex before a man is committed to her, she is playing with fire by giving him far more than she is receiving (namely, a lifetime commitment). In fact, it’s one of the worst mistakes so many women make that drive men away.

Whether you agree or not, the fact is that I’ve heard it too many times in my office.

When a woman gives her body to a man, then exactly what more is there that she can give? Isn’t it only fair to expect a man to give the same amount in return? For a man, does this involve committing for life?

I don’t think so, because when a woman (or man) has sex with someone, that person is going to be in their head for the rest of their life. There is a chemical bond, whether they want it or not.

It Comes Down to Chemistry

I wrote about this in my blog (under Sex) with a link to a site that describes this chemical bond. When a woman makes a man work to obtain what he wants from her she sends him the message that there is no distinction between obtaining her heart and her body.

He has invested in her because she has acted like sex is something special that deserves his complete loyalty. Otherwise, for most men, it’s not a commitment issue, it’s just something fun to do; no more and no less.

Discover the bonding stages when a man falls in love.

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About The Author – Bob Grant, L.P.C.

Bob Grant is a Clinically Trained Relationship Expert who’s been working with women for over since 1997. He helps women create successful, satisfying, and fulfilling love relationships by simply understanding men. Click here to learn more about Bob.
Bob Grant, L.P.C.