I had lunch with a friend the other day. We hadn’t seen each other in probably 3 months and before that it certainly a year. He’s successful by most standards and very efficient when it comes to running his companies. In short, he knows how to get things done. In addition, he loves his wife and absolutely ADORES his daughter. I can relate.
While we were talking I listened as we discussed how our families were doing and it was refreshing to hear some of his frustrations that he has dealt with and overcome. He related incidents where he simply puts his mind to a task, regardless of feelings, and overcomes his problem (he calls them challenges) and because this method is successful in most areas of his life, he will volunteer this approach to his wife when she is hurting.
As I was listening, my mind immediately recalled how I had done the very same thing with my wife. Then my friend ended his story with this sentence, “You know Bob, after the third time of her (his wife) telling me her point I realized – ‘Hey dummy, she just needs you to listen.”
It was a good reminder for me- and a little embarrassing too. I mean I give advice on relationships for a living. I know this stuff, but in that moment I was reminded that I’m not a woman. It’s sometimes easy to want to make a woman feel better immediately rather than allow her to feel better her way (which usually works better).
I left our lunch with a renewed appreciation for my wife who is different and therefore wonderful. I had just forgotten that a little bit.