Be Irresistible

Rejection, Fear and Dating

November 27, 2012
by Bob Grant, L.P.C.

One of the most universal needs that every woman has is to feel special. It’s not silly or childish but actually a very deep longing in the heart of every woman. Some women try and minimize this need by staying busy and productive so as not to notice the pain that comes when they realize that they are not in the relationship they always hoped would be there.

For others, they find themselves suddenly alone after losing a relationship. There are many reasons why. It could be the result of meeting the wrong person, death, cheating, lies, divorce, location, goals, and more.

Cannot Love Without Risk

In order to get into a new relationship, while meeting new people is important, there is something even more critical for a woman. She must be willing to take the risk of being hurt again. Yes, I know that getting hurt isn’t what someone wants from a relationship, but it is what goes with ANY relationship. For there can be no intimacy without some anger, hurt feelings, and disappointments.

Fear of Rejection and Hurt Is Normal

Having a fear of rejection and hurt is normal. It’s normal to want to avoid pain, but sometimes a woman can avoid uncomfortable situations too much. In an attempt not to “make a mistake” and pick the wrong man, she focuses on the wrong things early in a relationship. These things may seem like good indicators of how good a partner he’ll be, but they aren’t. What are some common mistakes women make with men?

  •  Assuming exciting = he’ll be faithful
  •  Thinking you can evaluate a man after 1 or 2 dates
  •  Telling him too much about yourself too soon

What all of these have in common is that they make a woman feel intensely wonderful. It’s like a drug and when they feel this intensity, they stop thinking. I realize this sounds harsh, but it happens so often and women say to themselves, “What happened? He was so wonderful those first few months and now he’s gone. I want him back.

It Went Too Fast

What happened? They allowed the relationship to proceed too quickly. If they had simply gone slowly so many problems could have been avoided. You see, that’s the key early in a relationship. By not allowing it to become too intense, too quickly, you will build a better foundation for something better. After all, isn’t having a man love and adore you….for the rest of your life what you really want?

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About The Author – Bob Grant, L.P.C.

Bob Grant is a Clinically Trained Relationship Expert who’s been working with women for over since 1997. He helps women create successful, satisfying, and fulfilling love relationships by simply understanding men. Click here to learn more about Bob.
Bob Grant, L.P.C.
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