Sex with Your Ex?

I was surfing the internet just looking for ideas for my newest ebook, “What’s He Thinking?” and for some reason I stumbled upon this title. I am reminded of the women that have told me about this very thing. Some have had sex with their ex-husband. Others with their soon to be ex-husband and then there are women have mentioned that they had sex with their ex-boyfriend, even though they knew he was dating someone else.

Why would they do such a thing? I’ll bet you know the answer.

Because it just feels good.

All of them would admit that they weren’t being logical and they would confess to being caught up in the moment, but if you dig a little deeper there is often a deeper motivation.
It makes them feel desirable that someone that who once cared about them still finds them attractive. There’s only one problem and you know what that is too.
The next day.
That’s what I as a therapist get to see most of. Instead of learning the secrets of the woman men adore, they instead choose a night of passion that leaves these women lonely, depressed and feeling hopeless. Is it exciting, you bet! It it worth it?

10 thoughts on “Sex with Your Ex?”

  1. Aside from being feel attractive with your ex, the guilt is there. And couple should have a total awareness on that. It is not easy to deal with that feeling. We should be happy with our present and not looking back on our ex good characteristics.

  2. From many of my friends who sleep with their ex’s I think a lot of it has to do with comfort with being able to have sex with someone familiar that you trust. I mean they don’t have to worry about what he likes cause they already know. also the anxiety of “safe” sex is out the window. There are just so many reasons to do it and though guilt is there the next day, sometimes the physical need is way more important at the moment

  3. Breaking up is hard but once you do it, you have to remove all the things about your ex that will remind you of him/her. It’s hard, but it works (and the sooner the better)! I actually believe that “removing” all the reminders of your previous relationship redirects your energy and makes it a bit harder to even consider sleeping with your ex again.

  4. The problem is it doesn’t get you where you want to go. The night of passion with the ex will remind you of the bad part about the relationship. Move on and start working new territory instead of walking a dead end trail.

  5. Sleeping with your ex can offer a level of security, comfort, and familiarity that a new relationship or partner may not afford. If those are the reasons for continuing a sexual relationship with someone you are no longer seeing romantically, it could be mutually beneficial, though not particularly “healthy”; however, if it is being done with the hopes of rekindling the love, or with someone who is currently in a relationship…the consequences could be detrimental.

  6. Very good subject! Whether it is worth ot or not all depends on the perception of the one chosing to sleep with their ex. If they see it as inconsistent validation, then it’s probably not worth it, cause the morning after will just turn passion into senseless guilt. It would help if partners would be more responsible of their choices, so as once sleeping with an ex does happen, the next day you’ll wake up with a smile, saying “That was my choice, I stuck to it, I’m not going to regret it, so time to take your clothes and get along with your day, cause my mission has been accomplished”. That might’ve sounded harsh, but it’s probably the way your subconscious would have put it if that were the case.

  7. yeah i just reconnected with my ex from high school and found out that his ex girlfriend is still n his life. ouch! but ya know what i too am in a relationship with my child’s father which is not so great. i cheated with my ex because i felt like i needed that. My boyfriend really sucks and my ex had popped up back into my life so one thing just led to another. i hate that his ex grlfriend is still trying to get him back though! But, i’ll just have to figure out what i am going to do…either stay with my boyfriend(which sucks) or wait and see if my ex wants to pursue a relationship,or just move on completely.

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