by Bob Grant
If you’re a single woman wondering why you can’t sustain a relationship with a man, or a married woman wondering why there’s no intimacy in your marriage, I may have information that could shed light on your predicament.
In my relationship counseling practice, wherein most of my clients are women, I’ve seen the following scenario play itself over and over again. It goes something like this:
You just can’t understand it. You know you’re a woman who deserves to find the love of your life. You’re attractive, you’re smart and have a great job –- you’re a good catch by most standards.
But somehow, you can’t make your relationships with men work – or if you’re married, there’s something missing in your relationship.
Then, you watch other women — some with less desirable attributes than you — enjoying successful relationships with men. You find yourself saying, “Life isn’t fair” and you begin to wonder if you’ll ever find happiness.
Perhaps you’ve been in this situation, or maybe someone you know has.
While there may be a multitude of reasons why this happens to women, there are 2 man repellents that are most common:
1) You probably have the attitude that you don’t NEED a man.
You just like to have someone in your life. If a man does not feel you need him, and that there is nothing he can bring to your life that you could not have on your own, he will feel incapable of being your hero.
He will feel as if you only want him involved on a superficial level.
This is one of the best man repellents in existence. While some independence is healthy in a relationship, it can also spell doom to intimacy in a relationship.
2) You probably have what I call “barbed wire around your heart” – a defensive mechanism that makes you NOT allow a man to love you.
Perhaps due to past hurts, wherein you got your hopes up only to be hurt and disappointed, you’ve put up a protective barrier around you, consisting of intense feelings such as fear, anxiety and dread.
Men can sense this defensiveness a mile away, and this causes them not to come too close to you.
Bob Grant, L.P.C.
“The Relationship Doctor”