Understanding Men
Understanding Men: Why Do Men Cheat?
February 23, 2007
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Bob Grant is a Clinically Trained Relationship Expert who’s been working with women for over since 1997. He helps women create successful, satisfying, and fulfilling love relationships by simply understanding men. Click here to learn more about Bob.
Dear Bob,
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years due to me finding out that he cheated. We talked about it and he stated that due to me letting myself go and not fulfilling him sexually he strayed. I was hurt and angry at first but started thinking back and taking an honest look at myself and could understand his side. I have taken it upon myself to get back to that old self that I too miss. And he constantly tells me that he is waiting for me. I guess what bothers me is this…how will I know that if we should get back together that he won’t stray again?…how can I not constantly think that when we’re not together he’s being a bad boy?…and how do I handle the phone calls that he receives from female friends he’s had before our relationship began?…I know a lot of this is my low self-esteem and that along with my personal appearance I have been working on. Just needed another outlook. Thanks.
Monica,
How will you know if he won’t cheat? You can’t, at least not based on what you have just told me.
You said he cheated on you because you “let yourself go.” Sorry, but what you are saying he did is a form of punishment. If he didn’t want to be with you anymore then the proper thing to do would be to end your relationship, not cheat on you.
He may have had a reason to be upset, but cheating on someone is NEVER the proper response.
Monica Dear,
Bob is absolutely correct. If your Man was so concerned about you letting yourself go, he should have tried to help you by taking walks with you, or something along those lines. Or he should have at least mentioned it instead of cheating on you.
He’s blaming his inability to stay loyal, on you, and in turn makes you feel worse about yourself.
It’s all about blaming you, so he can find a reason to make himself feel justified in cheating. There’s never a good reason…it’s still wrong!
Kick him to the curb before you waste another 6 years of your life making yourself sick worrying about him cheating again. Once a cheat, always a cheat, especially if he is “waiting” on you to get back in shape?
That’s a lame excuse, and who is he cheating with while you worry and starve yourself, emotionally, and physically? Hmmm? BOOT HIM!!
*Words of experience*
Sincerely,
cantomagica2000
Usually the husband cheats because the wife doesn’t want to have sex with him., so it begs the question why does she care if he has sex with someone else?So it’s pretty clear she does it on purpose so she can leave him without looking like a ***** and still keep his money.The wife typically cheats because she feels ignored, usually because he works too much (to provide her with the quality of life she wants). Then the ***** still leaves him and still gets his money.