by Claudia Cox
Believe it or not, as a single woman I have Googled the title of this article multiple times (I won’t bore you with a number…).
Yep, even for someone as text-crazy as me, it’s still frustrating to be at the receiving end of a text only “relationship” with someone you just met. Maybe you’ve already been there, and your Googling has finally found its mark, or maybe you have yet to experience this blissful situation….
Either way, the time has come to shed some light on this touchy subject, because all those text-happy dudes out there will leave you with a whole lot of unresolved questions and personal doubts. So get ready, you’re about to learn the truth behind “why does he only text me?”.
First of all, casual dating means dating, as in seeing each other. Is your new dreamboat jamming your inbox instead of picking up the phone, or just stopping by to say “hi”? If so, it probably means that he is:
- Emotionally unavailable (no comment)
- Already in a serious relationship with someone else (a jerk)
- Dating (and texting) multiple women, or not really into you (a player)
- Too busy for anything else (a workaholic)
- A bad modern communicator
Not looking good, is it? But you probably already knew it was one of these reasons, because your gut was telling you something wasn’t right, right?
Looking at this list, things may seem a bit grim. Reasons 1-3 are pretty much out of your hands. Reason 4 could potentially change if you were lucky enough to find him at the right point in his life where he actually wanted something serious (and you were patient enough to wait for him to change his ways).
But for the moment, let’s forget about 1-4 and focus on number 5, and the opportunity that you have to improve the communication with your text fanatic man squeeze.
Ignorance Is Bliss
As crazy as it may seem, sometimes men are blissfully unaware of your communication needs. Yes, you read that right.
If you step back and take a look at our texting habits as a society, you’ll quickly realize that we text for just about everything – hair appointments, picking up the dry cleaning, making professional rendezvous, and of course setting up plans with friends and family.
So, maybe he has just gotten sucked in to the whole text based communication “thingie”, and doesn’t realize that you need something more.
Or, maybe he’s just being considerate, and doesn’t want to disturb you with calls or visits because he knows how busy you are (he’s a BAD communicator, remember?) Realize that for many, texting is considered a less intrusive way to communicate, so he might actually think he’s being polite…
But, that doesn’t mean he should just keep texting you, because he’s obviously missed the memo that this rule doesn’t stand for relationships.
What To Do
Here is where your womanly charm comes into play: skillfully let him know that you crave hearing his voice.
How? Give him the green light to call you, by complimenting him without coming right out and saying “call me” (that’s plan B). Send him a “carrot text” such as:
“Missing your sexy voice….”
The next step in “un-textifying” your relationship is taking away his fear of actually picking up the phone and calling you, and turning it into an enjoyable experience for everyone instead. How? By keeping the following in mind:
- Make sure the call stays rather brief
- Don’t allow yourself to vent – save your sob stories for your girlfriends
- Smile when you’re talking – he’ll hear it in your voice
- Be the person to say “gotta go” first
- Thank him for the call. A little “merci” goes a long way…Voila.
There you have it, the possible reasons why he is only texting you, how you can coax him into calling you, and hopefully the solution for turning your budding relationship with a bad communicator from “text only”, to something more fulfilling.
And remember, if he doesn’t get the hint (even after resorting to plan B and flat out asking him to call you) then you may have judged his number wrong… your 5 may actually be sitting somewhere between a 1 and a 4, and it’s time to move on.
But don’t worry, there are oodles of fabulous guys out there ready to pull their fingers off their keypads and give you a call.
Claudia Cox is the creator of Text Weapon, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. Passionate about modern communication, she helps both singles and couples improve their relationships through creative texting.
As someone who has lived in different countries, Claudia brings her unique experience communicating with diverse cultures to the art of texting. She is a regular guest blogger for various relationship and communication websites worldwide.