The Communication Mindset That Can Save Your Marriage

Whether you’ve been married for 5 months, 5 years or even 50 years, one of the biggest obstacles to lasting passion and love is communication.

It’s a fact that most couples haven’t been taught how to communicate from what we call “the heart”—and they don’t even realize that by learning a few communication skills, it can determine the success and happiness of the relationship.

If you’ve having challenges in your marriage right now, know that there are some simple ways to create a shift to more understanding and love—and it all starts with adopting what we call a communication magic mindset or “CLIC”.

And what is “CLIC” and what does it have to do with improving communication and connecting deeper with your spouse?

In a word… EVERYTHING.

You see “CLIC” is only four small letters and it’s an acronym for one of the most important communication concepts we could ever teach you.

Now this isn’t rocket science but the plain truth is that if more people used the Communication Magic mindset we call “CLIC” when they interacted with their spouse, there would be…

~ Fewer breakups and divorces
~ More relationships and marriages with the spark, juice and aliveness still there (even after many years)
~ More passion, sex and intimacy between the two of you
~ More respect
~ More romance
~ More trust
~ Less jealousy and
~ More of everything that you want in your life (including fun)…

So what is “CLIC” and how can you apply it in your relationships and life?

“CLIC” stands for “Communicate Like It Counts” in every moment of every day.

Again, if you find yourself saying…

“Susie and Otto, this is so basic and so easy–I knew that already!”

To that we say…  Of course you know at some level how important it is to “Communicate like it counts.”

You know you SHOULD communicate like it counts.

But the bigger question is… How much of the time do you do it?

How much of the time do you “CLICK” and communicate like your relationship and each and every interaction counts?

If you’re like most people, nowhere nearly enough.

As close and as connected as the two of us are and as much as we study the skills of how to communicate and connect–every once in a while, we STILL mess up.

Every once in a while, there are STILL times when we aren’t as kind, aren’t as loving and don’t treat each other as special and as loving as you might want to treat the “love of your life” if you wanted to have a love that lasts.

We see it all the time in our one-on-one and telephone coaching clients as well…

People who truly love and care about each other talk to each other sometimes worse than their biggest enemy–all in the name of love.

So, here’s what we suggest… If you want to create a close, connected, loving relationship and marriage…

If you want your beloved to make you feel like the most important person on earth, then use the Communication Magic Mindset of “CLIC” and communicate like it counts as much of the time as possible.

Here are some suggestions for “communicating like it counts”…

1. Examine your beliefs about the impact of what you say and how you say it

If you’re thinking, “He’s my husband, I can talk to him that way and he’ll still love me” (A woman actually told us this after we overheard very means words she said to her husband)…

Think again—He or she may not always be there!

We actually don’t know if we’ll have another moment together so we’ve adopted the attitude that every moment is precious.

2. Stop before you speak or act out of habit

So many times, as defensiveness escalates sometimes including harsh and hurtful name-calling, one or both people say or do what they later regret. And usually the damage to the relationship is done that can never be repaired.

In order to get out of this destructive spiral, at least one person has to learn how to stop doing what they say or do that escalates the problem—and to open to looking at possibilities for connecting.

Remember that love, passion and connection never has to die or fade away.

Know that keeping love alive and keeping your connection strong is a choice that you make in every moment.

Susie and Otto Collins are authors and Breakthrough Relationship Coaches who specialize in helping men and women find and keep love and spark that lasts. They are the authors of over a dozen books and courses on communication, jealousy and keeping love alive, including “Magic Relationship Words” “Hypnotize His Heart” and “No More Jealousy.” Get their free ebook “Passionate Spark~Lasting Love” at

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