by Gil Crowley
You’ve been out on a great first date with a guy you really like and thought this could be the start of something special. You exchange phone numbers and he promises to give you a call. Days pass and you are still waiting – but you hear nothing from him. Why could this be?
Here are 10 reasons why he didn’t call:
1. Maybe he’s not that honest.
He could be seeing someone else as well.
2. Perhaps he lost your number.
This can happen. If you haven’t heard from him for a few days, just send him a short text thanking him for a nice date and ending with “hope to hear from you soon”” You then know that he has your number, so if you still get no reply after that, you know that he is not interested.
3. He was just being nice.
Perhaps he took your number because he didn’t have the courage to tell you that he didn’t want to see you again and thought it would be easier to ignore you afterwards. Ideally it would have been better for him to be honest, but he took the easy way out.
4. He’s not looking for anything serious.
If he thinks you’re after a serious relationship and all he wants is a fling, then he is most likely to move on to the next person and not bother to ring you again.
5. You didn’t at least offer to pay for anything.
Most men like to treat a woman on a first date, but you should not assume that he will pay for everything. It is courteous to offer to buy a round of drinks or pay for your meal even if he does not accept. He could think that you are just after a meal ticket.
6. You revealed too much.
Did you share too much personal information with him? It can be off-putting to learn too much too soon. If you went into lots of detail about a messy past relationship, health issues or family problems, you could have scared him off.
7. You asked him the wrong questions.
On a first date the objective is to get to know each other by asking about general things like work, family, hobbies, music, not conducting an interview. If you started grilling him on politics, religion, his past relationships, how much money he earns, then you have most likely put him off.
8. You over-complimented him.
Did you say things like “You seem like the perfect guy,” or “you’re so out of my league,” or “you have an amazing body?” Comments like this will have made him feel very uncomfortable as he will feel that you have put him on a pedestal already.
9. You were boring.
Maybe you didn’t make much of an effort to engage in conversation with him. I know first dates are nerve-wracking and you may have felt shy and tongue-tied, but if he asked you lots of questions and you replied with one-word answers and didn’t ask him anything about himself, then he will have got the impression that you were not interested.
10. You were too eager to impress him.
Perhaps you tried too hard to get him to like you. You could have come across as desperate if you agreed with everything he said. Being over-enthusiastic or over the top about things is also off-putting. If he doesn’t call, don’t beat yourself up about it, just accept that it wasn’t to be, maybe the chemistry was just not there for him.
Try and work out where you went wrong and learn by your mistakes. If you don’t feel anything was wrong, then you have to just move on and put it behind you – he obviously was not the one for you after all.
Gill Crowley has been running her own dating agency in the UK for the past 20 years and has helped thousands of people to find love over the years. She has recently sold the business so that she can concentrate on writing.
She contributes to a number of newsletter as well as her own blog. She is currently working on a number of ebooks, two of which are now available on Amazon Kindle. You can find details of these on her website and also learn more about Gill and her projects. Please visit www.howtomeetagoodman.com or follow her on twitter @tlcdating.