by Rach Face
It shouldn’t come as a surprise that men and women go about dating in very different ways. Men don’t leave a first date and plan out their wedding to you in their heads, instead they assess if they would like to get to know you further.
Women, if we like a guy, tend to jump five thousand steps ahead and have already pictured where we will be going on a honeymoon. After playing these fantasies out in our heads time after time you’d think we would stop! I mean, how many times must we create this idealistic picture only to realize on date number two, that the guy is a total loser.
Dating Multiple Men Is OK
It’s ok to have dreams, and it’s great to know what you’re looking for, so why not date more than one man at a time? Date like a man, as some would say! Whether you are serious about finding ‘the one’ or just looking to have fun, having a rolodex of suitors to see is not a bad thing.
Ok, perhaps a rolodex is a bit much, but I genuinely believe that dating up to three guys at a time is doable and acceptable and here is why:
1. Confidence Is Key
First of all, it’s a confidence boost to have multiple interests occurring at once and confidence creates a more attractive air that you will exude. Not only does confidence make you feel good about yourself, it also makes you more attractive to men. Why not feel your best, most sexy, most wanted, desired self when you are dating? You are a prize to be won!
A big mistake women make is putting men on a pedestal and assuming they are better than you are. Ultimately, a relationship is a partnership so, one person should not be more important than the other. By dating more than one man at a time, you won’t have the time to sit around worrying about why you haven’t heard from one of them.
This means you won’t be feeling down on yourself or unwanted! Confidence is key not only to being happy but to being your best self. Don’t underestimate how this will all positively effect your dating life!
2. Taste the Rainbow
The second reason I believe multiple suitors is beneficial is the idea of not being too available. I’m not saying you should be playing games, or sleeping with multiple guys at once, but getting to know someone over drinks or dinner a couple times a week shouldn’t take you off the market. And unfortunately, men do like a little bit of the chase.
Not only that, but it is sexy when a woman has a life of her own. By having a few different guys to date you automatically won’t have time to overwhelm any one of them with your constant desire to be attached at the hip. You don’t have to put all your eggs in one basket!
Taste the rainbow, try the milk before you buy the cow and insert any other metaphors you like. However, you look at it, not being available to see someone or text him all day long, will work to both of your benefits. The man won’t feel overwhelmed by you and you won’t feel insecure that you haven’t heard from in a few hours because you will be too busy reflecting on last night’s date instead!
3. Compare and see
Lastly, being able to directly compare people you are dating will help you realize what you are really looking for. That may sound mean, I mean we aren’t picking out shower curtains, but if you are in search of Prince Charming, there is something to say for knowing exactly what you want and need in a partner.
Having a few balls in the air will prove which man is really after your heart and not just your skirt. How someone talks to you, when they ask to see you, how often they are in touch, are all ways to know just how into you they are. When one man steps up to the plate he will rise above the rest and you will know he is worth more time.
If dating multiple men at once seems overwhelming, it may not be for you. It’s not meant to make you feel like a whore or a rebel, it’s meant to liberate you from your bad dating habits! The ultimate goal is to understand yourself, be happy, and find someone whose personality compliments yours.
Dating multiple men at a time does not mean that six months go by and you are still dating all three guys! Rather it is a way to keep your love tank full while you are on your journey. Likely, men will rotate in and out. You could be seeing one guy casually for a few weeks and you go on a first date with someone else to assess if number one is worth taking the next step.
Perhaps you’ll have first dates all in the same week. The order of operations doesn’t matter so much as understanding that until you have a conversation about being exclusive with someone you should not feel tied down. Have fun, go on an adventure and put yourself out there. I think you will see and feel a difference when you do!
Rach Face is an expert in dating and relationship advice. Her ability to see both men and women’s perspectives, paired with her witty and relatable voice, make her a trustworthy guru for modern singles. A strong believer in positive energy, she works diligently to give guidance that is supportive and uplifting. Visit her website www.readwittybanter.com for helpful tips and hilarious stories!