Dating Advice

Three First-Date Guidelines For a Better Experience

November 27, 2012
by Bob Grant, L.P.C.
Contrary to popular belief, the priority on a first date should be more about not making a mistake rather than making a good impression. Face it, the very fact that a guy asks you for a date means that you have already made a good impression. Because of this, you don’t have to impress him; rather, your main focus should be to NOT do these 3 things:

#1 Don’t make suggestions; let him be in charge

Hopefully, you will never be in the position of a guy asking you for a date, and then showing up at your door and asking you the question every woman dreads, “So, what would you like to do?” To be fair, the reason some guys do this is because they are worried about planning something that you don’t like. Rather than making a mistake in selecting the activity, they instead choose to avoid the risk of rejection. Most, thankfully, know they need to plan the evening. If, however, you are asked about your preference, maintain your role as a receptive female by saying, “I’m not sure, what did you have in mind?” This will set the tone that HE is the man, and that it is his job to plan an evening to please you. Don’t worry about coming across as a snob, witch or worse. If he is so insecure that he needs you to plan the evening, good riddance. Better you discover this about him now than later.

#2 Don’t pay for the meal

Regardless of what part of the world you live in, nearly every man believes that a clear sign that a woman is not interested is her insistence in paying for her own meal. Now, many women have confided to me that they have offered (rather than insisted) to pay for their meal because they didn’t want to give the impression that they were selfish or just out for a free meal. While their intention is noble, men don’t view it that way. Any first date is about a woman acting like a woman, not an equal. Leave the concept of fairness at your work or school. He didn’t ask you out because he wanted to spend the least amount of money possible. On a first date, a man is more concerned that he can please you than he is about spending an extra $20-$50, I promise.

#3 Above all, don’t have sex with him

One of the fastest ways to ruin a potentially great relationship is to introduce intimacy too soon. Men are very driven to prove their power to themselves. They usually measure this by what (or whom) they have conquered. Frequently, when a man conquers something, he moves on to something else. Once the chase has ended, he becomes bored. A wise woman knows that the more a man invests in something, the more he values it. Sex is a prize he receives in return for his devotion and commitment. The more casual a woman makes sex, the more casual a man takes commitment.
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Contrary to popular belief, the priority on a first date should be more about not making a mistake rather than making a good impression.

Face it, the very fact that a guy asks you for a date means that you have already made a good impression.

Because of this, you don’t have to impress him; rather, your main focus should be to NOT do these 3 things:

#1 Don’t make suggestions; let him be in charge

Hopefully, you will never be in the position of a guy asking you for a date, and then showing up at your door and asking you the question every woman dreads, “So, what would you like to do?”

To be fair, the reason some guys do this is because they are worried about planning something that you don’t like. Rather than making a mistake in selecting the activity, they instead choose to avoid the risk of rejection.

Most, thankfully, know they need to plan the evening. If, however, you are asked about your preference, maintain your role as a receptive female by saying, “I’m not sure, what did you have in mind?”

This will set the tone that HE is the man, and that it is his job to plan an evening to please you.

Don’t worry about coming across as a snob, witch or worse. If he is so insecure that he needs you to plan the evening, good riddance. Better you discover this about him now than later.

#2 Don’t pay for the meal

Regardless of what part of the world you live in, nearly every man believes that a clear sign that a woman is not interested is her insistence in paying for her own meal.

Now, many women have confided to me that they have offered (rather than insisted) to pay for their meal because they didn’t want to give the impression that they were selfish or just out for a free meal.

While their intention is noble, men don’t view it that way. Any first date is about a woman acting like a woman, not an equal. Leave the concept of fairness at your work or school.

He didn’t ask you out because he wanted to spend the least amount of money possible.

On a first date, a man is more concerned that he can please you than he is about spending an extra $20-$50, I promise.

#3 Above all, don’t have sex with him

One of the fastest ways to ruin a potentially great relationship is to introduce intimacy too soon. Men are very driven to prove their power to themselves.

They usually measure this by what (or whom) they have conquered.

Frequently, when a man conquers something, he moves on to something else. Once the chase has ended, he becomes bored.

A wise woman knows that the more a man invests in something, the more he values it. Sex is a prize he receives in return for his devotion and commitment. The more casual a woman makes sex, the more casual a man takes commitment.

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About The Author – Bob Grant, L.P.C.

Bob Grant is a Clinically Trained Relationship Expert who’s been working with women for over since 1997. He helps women create successful, satisfying, and fulfilling love relationships by simply understanding men. Click here to learn more about Bob.
Bob Grant, L.P.C.
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