Dating Advice

3 Clues You Are Dating a Toxic Man?

August 12, 2014
by Lorna Poole
Women desire relationships filled with excitement and passion, but those under ridden with drama and trust issues will lead us down the path of dating bad boys. Friends try to warn each other about the men they are seeing. Have you ever been told that he’s no good for you?
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Or you do too much for him and he does not care? Dating toxic men becomes a habit for many women and the first step to breaking the bad boy habit is to identify the traits of these men. A toxic man will put minimal effort into a relationship, make excuses for the other women in his life and will want to keep your relationship a secret.

Is he making the effort?

In a relationship with a toxic man there is an imbalance to the effort made to make the relationship successful. Women find themselves doing everything for the man: calling over when he wants to meet, supporting him financially when he is low this month.

The man is allowed to put minimal effort into the relationship because his girl is doing everything and he wants for nothing. She has allowed him to run the relationship on his terms. It’s ten on a Friday night and he’s looking for some action, she is there.

He cancels plans for a romantic date to watch the game with the guys and she does not question his actions. Toxic men will walk all over the women they date because they are not required to put more effort into the relationship.

To this bad boy you are not first on his priority list and he will continue to do what pleases him. What felt exciting in the beginning has now sputtered out and his interest in you, his effort for the relationship is long lost. When his interest and excitement for you dissipate, a toxic man may seek out other women.

What about the other women?

A toxic man may have many other women is his life. However, when asked by his girlfriend he has excuses for why each is around. One is a friend’s sister that needs a place to stay for the weekend; another is the mother of his child and looking for her child support check. There may be truth to the situation, but as other women come around how do you tell the truth from his excuses.

Men are fueled by the excitement and the sexual tension; however as that passion wanes a bad boy will look for others to fuel him. As stated before, a woman who does everything for her man can lose his interest. When she allows him to rule the relationship he may choose to invite other women that can fill his needs. A bad boy is looking out for his number one, himself.

And What Is With The Big Secret?

When a man is looking out for only himself, he may decide that it is in his best interest to keep your relationship a secret. This is a red flag of a toxic man. Keeping secrets fuels drama and creates an unstable environment.

Why is your relationship a secret, who those he not want to know about you in his life? Secrets are fun and exciting in the short-term but when you are in love with someone you want to be able to tell the world and share your experience.

This can cause strain on your relationship with family and friends, you can end up questioning your values and feeling bad about the mess you have got yourself into.

Women, who find toxic men attractive, wake up every day living their lives in a quiet desperation for something better. Caught up in his drama, minimal effort, his need for other women and to keep his plans with you a secret can leave you feeling exhausted, frustrated and alone.

Your needs, want and desires are never fully fulfilled. The beautiful thing about us human is the fact that we can change our destination at any time. Taking the time to sit and question your relationship can be very exhilarating when you find the inner strength from within to walk away from a love that does not and will not serve you. Once you choose you will never look back.

Choose today to break free from the bad boy habit and live the life you deserve after all you are worth it.

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About The Author – Lorna Poole

Lorna Poole is an Expert Relationship Coach, equipping women to break the bad boy habit and create the love they deserve. As a woman with her own compelling bad boy story, she knows all too well how easy it is to fall for the bad boys that leave women feeling empty and alone. Even though deep down she knew he could never give me what she wanted, she continued to tolerate and seek love from a man that treated her poorly. Eventually, she met my one bad boy too many and hit rock bottom in every area of her life. Now, she thanks him every day because it is from that incident with him that her life was changed. Through her personal struggle, she gained the strength and courage to teach these insights to others.
Lorna Poole
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