Dating Advice

Living Together Better Than Marriage?

January 24, 2012
by Bob Grant, L.P.C.

So someone sent me this link about how living together is better than marriage. Let’s be honest, of course you can find research to support what you want to believe. Living together does have some benefits and it certainly will make someone happier in some instances.

That’s not the problem. It’s what living together does to a persons ability to develop intimacy. The study mentions somewhat casually, “Though previous (and highly cited) research has showed a higher divorce rate among couples who live together before they tie the knot compared to those who do not, these decades-old findings may be outdated.” Well, you need to show research that disproves that instead of simply saying it may be outdated.

Most women believe that what guys like is living together before marriage so they can simply ease into getting married. Don’t fall for that.

Living together certainly has some benefits, but the question I ask is what’s your goal. If you want a man to marry you, then you need to demonstrate value. Make sharing a home with you something he has to work for and aspire to.

Please don’t make it as convenient as a long extended date. Just recently Gene Simmons got married to his long time live in girlfriend. After years of living together she had this to say, “Being married is SO much different.” She’s right. Marriage is more than simply a piece of paper. That’s why men are cautious about taking the plunge. They know it’s the biggest commitment they will ever make. The question is…are you worth getting married to?

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Comments (4)

  • Living together may be good to learn about the partners habits and true personality, however, their is no obligation to be faithful to the other or remain in the relationship. In marriage you are bound by law and it’s far more difficult to break the binds of marriage.

  • I think that most people have its own personal reason on whether they live together first than getting married immediately. Personally for me it does not matter, because ones you enter a relationship there should be a commitment with each other and obcourse love.

  • My husband and I lived together, and we got married after 3 yrs. You may call me a hypocrite, but I don't recommend anyone living together. We both are born again Christians now, and if I had known spiritually what I know now we wouldn't have lived together before marriage. God created marriage as a holy union, and marriage is a powerful force of unity. I must say that living together gave me a sense of insecurity because when you live together it doesn't require commitment. I have been married for 23 years, and my husband and I often say that if we could do it over again we would not live together before marriage. Nevertheless, I thank God because he is an awesome Father that loves you in spite of your past.

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About The Author – Bob Grant, L.P.C.

Bob Grant is a Clinically Trained Relationship Expert who’s been working with women for over since 1997. He helps women create successful, satisfying, and fulfilling love relationships by simply understanding men. Click here to learn more about Bob.
Bob Grant, L.P.C.
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