by Claudia Cox
There is an almost endless stream of articles detailing a hundred different ways to attract a guy over text (I should know, I’ve written a few!). But how about when you have attracted a guy that you didn’t want to attract? What should you text him then?
We’ve all been in that situation before – you’re out on the town chatting with a guy and he asks for your number. You don’t want to seem rude, or explain to him exactly why you would never, ever, date him.
So you give it to him.
Then come the text messages.
Letting a guy down without hurting his ego is a delicate matter. Unless you’re mean spirited then you probably don’t want to hurt his feelings or shatter his confidence. At the same time, it can turn ugly if you don’t “deal with the situation”.
After all, you like what you like, right?
Help is on the way! Here are few nice “I’m not interested in you” text messages, and tips for when to use them.
When to use this: if you actually do like the guy and you want to tease him. Send this text first, playing it cool, and then follow up with something like: but Saturday night I’m free 🙂
When not to use this: when you have zero interest in the guy. If you write this he’s going to think you are flirting with him (which you are).
When to use this: only if you are really busy and you still want to see the guy. In this case, let him know you’re not playing him by giving him a specific date in the future when you’re available to meet.
When not to use this: with a guy you have no intention of seeing. If he is really attracted to you, he will probably not give up easily, and you will be faced with a long string of annoying texts and phone calls – there are only so many excuses you can make. Cut it in the bud girlfriend, and don’t use this text.
When to use this: if you meet someone at a work conference and exchange business cards for what you thought were professional reasons, and then he gets all flirty with you. Or, if you make the mistake of giving your number out to someone you are not interested in, and you’re pretty confident you will never run into him again (vacation, business trip, etc.)
When not to use this: with a guy from the gym or someone in your social circle. They will find out that you’re lying and it will hurt his ego in front of his friends and you will look like a liar in front of yours.
When to use this: all the time. This is by far my favorite way to let a guy down easy. It is not getting into nit picky details such as “you are too short, fat, live too far away…etc”. Only you hold the key to your heart, so if it is already taken, it’s already taken, and you can’t argue with that.
Dating and socializing are fun. However, if you go out enough, you are going to make the mistake of giving your number out to a guy that you just know you shouldn’t have given your number too.
Maybe it was a professional situation, maybe you had a few too many and thought, ‘what’s the harm?’ or maybe he just caught you off guard, and before you knew what was happening you passed over your digits and now you have a steady stream of unsolicited text messages blocking your inbox.
As women we are taught to be polite and nice. It is what makes us feminine and attractive. At the same time, you don’t have to put up with the attention of a guy who you are not interested in. You need to be able to stick up for yourself via text and let guys down in a kind, yet firm manner.
So, next time you receive a text from Mr. “so not interesting”, instead of just ignoring it, be nice. Tell him thanks, stroke his ego if you like by telling him that he seems great: and then exit the conversation politely by announcing that “your heart is already taken“.
And that’s that.
Claudia Cox is the creator of Text Weapon, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. Passionate about modern communication, she helps both singles and couples improve their relationships through creative texting.
As someone who has lived in different countries, Claudia brings her unique experience communicating with diverse cultures to the art of texting. She is a regular guest blogger for various relationship and communication websites worldwide.