You’ve been dating a man for some time now, but you’re not sure whether he’s the right man for you or not. Your friends think that he is wrong for you, and in your heart, you know that he probably isn’t right either. So why don’t you dump him and move on instead of making excuses and hoping that things will get better?
There could be a number of reasons why you are reluctant to get rid of him and none of them are good ones. If any of these reasons are what is keeping you together, then stop wasting your time and make the decision to move on.
You are hoping that he will change.
This will never work unless he really wants to change. If you try to change him he will resent you for it and you will end up being frustrated. You need to find someone who you like for who he is.
You think he has started to change.
People don’t really change, they are who they are. If he does really want to change it will be a very slow process and will only do it for himself, not for you. You have to ask yourself if the change is going to be significant enough to be worth hanging around for.
You’ve broken up with him a few times, but he keeps coming back.
You have already decided that he is not right for you, so stick with your decision. Don’t be fooled by promises that things will change, it’s likely that he will fall back into the same old patterns once he’s got you back where he wants you.
You love the fact that he dotes on you.
It may be good to have someone liking and caring for you, especially if you’ve been badly treated by other guys. But it has to be a two-way thing. If, deep down, you don’t feel the same way about him the relationship is doomed to failure.
You don’t want to be alone.
This is not a good reason to stay in a relationship. You need to work on learning to enjoy your own company, find some new interests, spend time with friends and family. Feeling alone when in a relationship is far worse than actually being alone.
You feel as if life is passing you by.
Feeling desperate because you are getting older and worrying that you will never find someone to settle down with is not a good reason for sticking with him. As more time goes by, you are getting wiser and better equipped to choose the right sort of partner for you, so use your experience of life to your advantage.
If any of these reasons ring true with you, do yourself a favour and move on. If you are not sure if he’s the right guy, then he’s the wrong guy. Stop wasting your time with him, walk away and move on with your life. There are plenty of good guys out there waiting for a nice girl like you to come along, so put on a smile and get yourself out there.
Gill Crowley has been running her own dating agency in the UK for the past 20 years and has helped thousands of people to find love over the years. She has recently sold the business so that she can concentrate on writing. She contributes to a number of newsletter as well as her own blog.
She is currently working on a number of ebooks, two of which are now available on Amazon Kindle. You can find details of these on her website and also learn more about Gill and her projects. Please visit www.howtomeetagoodman.com or follow her on twitter @tlcdating.