Skip to main content
Dating Advice

10 Attributes of a Soulmate

May 10, 2019
by Carmen Harra
The American writer Richard Bach said, “A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are.” True to these words, a soulmate is the epitome of love and partnership; no one can fulfill you the way your soulmate can. So let’s delve further into what the 10 elements of a soulmate are.
free guide the best places to meet men

FREE GUIDE: The Best Places to Meet Men

Don’t Miss Out On This Free Offer!

The places in this guide are virtually unknown! 

Access Your Free Guide Today 

There’s a world of a difference between your soulmate, your heart’s other half, and a life partner, a person who’s convenient but can’t open your inner locks. Your soulmate makes you feel entirely whole, healed, and intact, like no piece is missing from the puzzle. A life partner may be a great supporter and long-time companion, but he or she can never complement your spirit fully.

Many of us remain in compromise relationships because we “settle” for a multitude of reasons. Among them, we may be subconsciously afraid of being alone. And since we’re biologically designed to give and receive love, it’s only natural that we pair up in this world.

But sometimes we prolong what are meant to be temporary relationships and mistakenly settle into them for good. In some relationships, we must be together with a person for a certain amount of time to close out a karma; in others, we’re meant to have children with our partner but not be with that person forever; and still in others, we experience a melting pot of conflicting emotions that leaves us confused.

Soulmate Attributes

Whether you’re currently married, in a relationship and pursuing your relationship goals, or contemplating entering one, it’s crucial that you know what role this person will play in your life. From what I’ve learned in my practice as an intuitive psychologist for over 25 years, there are certain elements that clearly indicate a soulmate bond (or lack of). As you go through this list, think about your partner or potential partner and evaluate whether they meet the soulmate criteria:

  1. It’s something inside. Describing how a soulmate makes you feel is difficult. It’s a tenacious, profound, and lingering emotion that fills you with joy, but that words fail to capture.
  2. Flashbacks. If your partner is your soulmate, chances are he or she has been present in your past lives. Soulmates often choose to come back together during the same lifetime and try to scope each other out in this big world. You might experience sudden and brief flashbacks of your soulmate. You may even feel an odd sense of déjà vu, as if the moment in time has already taken place, perhaps a long time ago in a different setting.
  3. You just get each other. Ever met two people who can finish each other’s sentences? Some people call that spending too much time together, but I call it a soulmate connection. You might experience this with your best friend or your sibling, but it’s the telltale sign of a soulmate when you experience it with your partner.
  4. You fall in love with his or her flaws. No relationship is perfect, and even soulmates will experience their fair share of ups and downs. Still, that bond will be much harder to break. Soulmates have an easier time of accepting, even learning to love, each other’s imperfections. Your relationship is more likely to be a soulmate match if you love each other exactly as you each are, accepting both the great and awful tendencies we all have.
  5. It’s intense. A soulmate relationship may be more intense than normal relationships, in both good and sometimes bad ways. That’s because soulmates usually have a bit of karma to resolve together. The most important thing is that even during the challenges, you’re focused on resolving the problem and see beyond the bad moment.
  6. It’s you two against the world. Soulmates often see their relationship as “us against the world.” They feel so linked to each other that they’re ready and willing to take on any feat of life, so long as they have their partner by their side. Soulmate relationships are founded on loyalty and unity above all else.
  7. You’re mentally inseparable. Soulmates often have a mental connection similar to twins. They might pick up the phone to call each other at the exact same time. Even when you’re apart, your minds will always remain in sync if you’re soulmates.
  8. You feel secure and protected. Regardless of your partner’s gender, he or she should always make you feel safe. This means that if you’re a man, your woman should protect you, too! You will feel like you have a guardian angel by your side. A person who plays on your insecurities—whether consciously or subconsciously—is not your soulmate.
  9. You can’t imagine life without him or her. A soulmate is not someone you can walk away from that easily; your instinct will pull you right back to your partner. This is someone you can’t imagine being without, a person you believe is worth sticking with and fighting for. Even in the midst of the toughest ordeals, your reassurance will come from knowing that you have your soulmate close by.
  10. You look each other in the eye. Soulmates have a tendency to look into each other’s eyes when speaking more often than ordinary couples. This comes naturally from the deep-seated connection between them. Looking a person in the eye when speaking denotes transparency, a high comfort level, and complete confidence.

Whether you were designed by the universe as soulmates or you’re simply two people who have settled for each other’s strengths and weaknesses, the decision is yours; the beauty of free will is that you can start, strengthen, or change any relationship. To be with your soulmate is one of life’s precious treasures. And if you feel you’ve found your heart’s other half, I wish you endless days of joy and laughter, and countless nights of deep embrace, unraveling the mysteries of the universe one by one.

To love,

Dr. Carmen Harra

Which Program Speaks To You?

Bring Back Your Man Product Image

How Do I Get Him Back? Before He Moves On

Prime Program

Not every breakup means the end forever. If there’s any chance of restoring the relationship, we can help show you how to get him back.

How To Find The Man of Your Dreams

How To Attract The Man of Your Dreams: He’ll Finally Be Able To Find You

Prime Program

Sometimes you have everything you need for the perfect relationship… except the perfect guy. Let us help you find the man of your dreams.

First Date Allure: Leave Him Begging For More

Your Last First Date: He’ll Be Begging To See You Again

Prime Program

What if you could draw him in the fastest at the very beginning of the relationship? Start your romance off on the best footing with a strong first date allure.

under his skin, taming the bad boy program cover

Taming The Bad Boy: Put Him Under Your Spell

Prime Program

If the man you’re in love with is a challenging bad boy, then you have to learn the rules for what is effective (and ineffective) when dealing with a more difficult type of man.

Commitment Soup: One Taste And He’s Yours Forever

Prime Program

His ability to commit is based on his character and how you make him feel. Learn about the levels of commitment and what you can do to guide the relationship to become deeper and stronger.

About The Author – Carmen Harra

Carmen Harra, PhD, is an intuitive psychologist, best-selling author, radio show host, TV personality, and relationship expert. Over the past thirty years, Carmen has helped tens of thousands of people find fulfilling love and create committed relationships. She’s the author of international best-selling books like Everyday Karma, Decoding Your Destiny, and The Karma Queens’ Guide to Relationships, among others. Carmen has been featured in such publications as The New York Times, New York Post, and New York Daily News and on shows like Good Morning America, The View, and the Today show. She contributes regularly to HuffPost, Thrive Global, Sivana East, Bustle, and many more popular magazines. Visit her website at
Carmen Harra