I first started dating at the age of 45. I had no clue what I was doing. I made huge mistakes that shook my confidence and led me to a doomed 2nd marriage with the wrong man that lasted exactly two years.
Back then I thought I was the only one suffering when it came to dating. Today, as a dating coach, I help women overcome these mistakes so they are able to find the perfect man for them. I want to share three of these mistakes that can doom your love life if not corrected.
Mistake #1 – You believe ‘he’s out there’ and when the time is right, ‘he’ll just show up in your life’
This is a belief based on the Law of Attraction that goes like this….if I focus on it hard enough, it will happen. Hey, I’m a huge believer in manifesting what you want but I know the only way it really works is when you take ACTION to make your dream come true. If you just hang out waiting for your guy to show up, you could end up alone for the rest of your life.
Your action for finding the perfect man for you is to create a Dating Blueprint. Start with Online dating. You want to craft a good profile with pictures that show off the best of you. Browse dating sites to see which ones have the types of men you’d like to meet. Then join the ones that you think will work for you.
Next, make a list of at least 10 places in your area you think single men your age hang out. Get your flirting skills in place and go meet them. Lastly, write out a list of people you know in business, activities you participate in, the classes you take, people you work with plus friends and family. These are your Dating Fairy Godmothers, the angels who can fix you up with other single people they know.
It takes work but if you’re persistent and consistent at working your Dating Blueprint, you’ll be able to meet a lot of good men.
Mistake #2 – You must feel immediate chemistry.
Want to know what chemistry is? It’s the bonding hormone that often makes you mix up the two L’s-love and lust.
Many failed relationships start with this type of intense chemistry because it feels so amazing. The problem is you end up spending a lot of time in bed fulfilling those hormone cravings and the friendship every relationship needs isn’t built.
The best chemistry is a slow burn. You might not even feel it till the 3rd or 4th date. If a guy is nice, keep going out. One day, he could reach across the table and tenderly touch your face in a way that sparks the chemistry.
Mistake #3 – Dating to Mate on a 1st Date
When I first started dating. I, too, was guilty of trying to figure out if he was the one before my cup of tea was even finished. Here’s the problem with this strategy…meet and greets are awkward. You’re making snap decisions about someone without really knowing who a man even is.
I always urge my clients to go on dates for the sole purpose of meeting someone new and interesting. It takes a ton of pressure off of you by not having to figure it all out in 5 minutes.
The only purpose of a meet and greet is to see if you want to go on a second date to see if something is there. That’s it. It’s worth giving a good guy a chance cause you never know, he could turn out to be the one and you don’t want to miss that!
About The Author – Lisa Copeland
